


between belief and the sea

by thewayofthetrashcompactor (BriarLily)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Magic, Moon, Reylo Fanfiction Anthology, Scavenger Rey (Star Wars), Selkie Ben, Selkies, Spoilers, Stop reading these tags if you don't want to be spoiled, Tags Contain Spoilers, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-07-20 07:01:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16132079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BriarLily/pseuds/thewayofthetrashcompactor
Summary: Rey has a busy schedule: between her part time jobs, trying to get a degree, and breaking into certain people's homes to steal items she can pawn off to Unkar Plutt, she doesn't have time for anything mysterious or unusual. And she's not exactly in the habit of returning lost property.However, something gets her to make an exception. Which somehow mixes her up with Ben Solo, and that turns out to be a hard bond to break.





	1. Worm Moon

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so, so much to everyone involved in this. To all our writers, you are amazing and make this project as incredible as it is. To my fellow mods, you are lovely people who have put so much work into this. I never cease to be impressed. And thank you to everyone reading this! This project has been about six months in the making, and we are all so excited to be able to present this collection!
> 
> Thank you also to Viv and Celia for going through this, and Persimonne for taking the time to read this when I was about to give up and convincing me it was worth finishing. You are wonderful <3

Rey disabled the alarm on the back window through the crack between the frames, pulled it up, and slipped inside. The plush carpet made no sound as she landed, and she closed the window behind her. The full moon shone through the window, casting a silver glow on the luxurious furnishings. A buzzing excitement rolled over her as she took stock of the room she found herself in. 

She’d heard the new wave of crime that people were supposed to worry about wasn't the stereotypical burglar in a catsuit breaking into the house in the middle of the night or any of those old-fashioned criminals that made their living with soft steps and quick fingers. Now it was all maintenance workers in disguise and online scams, the kind of things that could get much better rewards with less effort than painstakingly picking open locks. She, however, preferred the classics. 

The room was almost exactly what she'd expected from a sleazebag like Snoke. Thick dark carpet, walls draped in fabric, and a bed that looked like it was covered in the same material as the man's infamous golden suit. She nearly gagged. Oozing wealth, but no taste. Not that she'd know anything about that. Still, she didn't feel too bad about dipping into the man's bloated riches to help keep herself afloat. He was out at one of his monthly meetings that night, something she’d watched him leave for regularly for a few months now, likely rubbing elbows with other criminals as disgusting as he was. 

She started at the dresser, a heavy thing made of dark wood inlaid with gold and pearl and with various boxes and jewelry scattered carelessly across the top. Her gloved hands picked through the offerings, taking small pieces here and there, rings or chains that looked less worn or that sat at the bottom of a pile, things he likely wouldn't miss. Scrunching her face in disgust, she quickly rummaged through his sock and underwear drawers, but didn't turn up anything interesting. She retrieved a watch and a couple jeweled tie pins from another drawer, then faced the room again. 

The closet was worth a brief look, but she could save that for last. The bed first then. She pulled up the skirt to look underneath, but the frame went all the way to the floor, and knocking around it didn’t turn up any hiding places. She turned to the chest at the foot of the bed, an older piece with engravings of oceans in the light wood. It looked incongruous in the rest of the room, like someone had actually put care into its creation. A lock secured the front, but it was easy enough to pick that. She pushed back the lid, hoping to find a safe or something equally as worthwhile. Instead, a heap of dark fur sat alone inside. 

She picked it up, frowning. The fur slid soft and silky under her hands as she stood and shook it out. It turned out to be a coat, slightly too large for her, but not at all shaped for Snoke's gaunt and towering frame either. It looked strangely inviting, and all she wanted to do was to take it with her and wrap it around herself, snuggling into it. 

The thought was a completely ridiculous one. The coat would suit her as well as anything else from Snoke's indulgent garbage. It looked luxurious and definitely expensive, but not worth trying to bundle it back out of the house with her. Still, it was an odd thing for Snoke to keep locked up and so close at hand. 

Rey sighed, letting it slip through her fingers and fall back into the chest. As it landed, she heard the crinkle of paper and quickly bent over to find what it was. She dug through the pockets until her hand reached a scrap of stationery, which she pulled out and spread on the edge of the chest. The paper looked old and slightly the worse for wear, but the words printed on it were easily legible: 

_Ben Solo_

_415-623-1000_

Rey's heart skipped a beat. The handwriting was clearly a child's, clumsy and unpracticed, with lines pressed deep in the paper where he must have been concentrating. The ‘S’ could nearly be an eight and the zeroes ran into each other. But the name and number were understandable, and the intention was obvious. She'd done something similar for her prized possessions as a child, such as they were: a faded ‘R’ scrawled in marker on the foot of the doll she'd made from scraps, and when she was older, ‘Rey Niima’ written carefully on her beat-up copy of ‘The Little Princess’ she'd stolen from her classroom. She hadn’t wanted to commit to the phone number of her latest home, so she’d settled from writing under it: “If found, please return”. Her hands clenched on the paper, wrinkling it. She didn't know who ‘Ben Solo’ was, but she'd be willing to bet he didn't belong within a thousand feet of Snoke at any time.

She tried to set the coat back. Even if something was wrong here, which it very likely was, she couldn't do anything about it. Having the coat would just get her in trouble, one way or another. She was here to get herself through another month, not involve herself in any of Snoke’s notoriously sketchy dealings. Yet, even with all of that logic, she couldn't close the lid and let it go. 

With a growl, she gathered the coat up and pulled it out of the chest, then closed the lid and locked it again before she could reconsider. Scowling the whole time, she bundled the fur into her bag and tied it to her back. As she eased herself back out the window, she couldn't help but feel like she was going to regret this. 

Rey made her way back downtown from Snoke's mansion, then waited until the last of the city's nightlife had drained from the streets to continue to Plutt’s. The weak morning sun was just beginning to overpower the assortment of flickering neon in the windows - “OPEN ALL NIGHT", “WE BUY GOLD", “BUY SELL LOAN", “GET CASH NOW” - as she arrived. 

Opening the door set off a half-dead recording of a bell chime. Rey had heard it too many times to register the distorted sound and walked straight to Plutt’s counter, weaving her way around the many haphazard shelves of merchandise in the way. Plutt was leaning on the counter, arms and stomach spread over the cheap plastic, red-rimmed eyes fixed on the television set to the side playing a rerun of some old reality show. A half burnt cigarette hung from his fleshy lips. 

Rey started emptying her haul onto the counter without comment. Expensive jewelry clattered onto the stained surface, but Plutt didn't look. When she finished, save for the coat, which she slung back in its bag over her shoulder, she stared at Plutt. He still didn't react. She cleared her throat impatiently. 

With a great heave, Plutt turned his gaze on her. His eyes sat small in his massive face, but they looked at everything with a needling intensity. They glanced over the collection of gold and precious stones shrewdly but without particular interest. “Eighteen hundred for the lot. What's in the bag?” he grunted.

She resisted the temptation to adjust it on her shoulder. “Nothing,” she said, keeping her tone bored. “Just stuff for my place.”

“Your place?” He snorted. “What kind of garbage are you putting in there?”

She shrugged. “Some junk I found.”

He scowled at her, small eyes growing even smaller. “Are you keeping things from me, girl?”

Rey gritted her teeth. She’d been hoping to avoid this, but he’d dug in now. “No,” she muttered.

His lips spread in a slow smile. “Let’s see it then.”

Reluctantly, she put the bag down and opened it. Plutt’s fingers drummed on the counter as she pulled the coat out just enough to show him. He chuckled. “You planning on starting another side job I don’t know about?”

“What - No!”

He laughed again, and the sound made Rey’s skin crawl. “Hey, no judgement here darling. Maybe you could hang around the shop, get some business in.”

“Fuck off,” she snapped.

He leered at her. “You’d think you’d be a little nicer to me when I’m about to pay you.”

Rey’s jaw clenched.

Plutt leaned back, considering. “Two fifty for the coat.”

She hesitated, thinking of her back account and the cupboards at her apartment, then gathered it off the counter and shoved it all the way back in her bag. “It’s not for sale.”

He glared at her. “Really? You’re telling _me_ no?”

“I brought you a whole bunch of other stuff that’s worth thousands more than that. Why the fuck do you care so much about some stupid coat?” She swung the bag back over her shoulder.

He leaned toward her, and the counter groaned under his weight. “The real question, girl, is why do you care?”

She met his beady eyes with a glare, even as she knew she should just hand the bag over and have done with it. Plutt wouldn’t forget this. “I don’t. I just like it. Are you going to pay me or not?”

He watched her for a moment longer, then heaved himself over to the register. It opened with a rusty chime, and Plutt licked his fingers and counted out a handful of bills. He handed them over to her without looking. 

She counted them herself. “This is only sixteen hundred,” she told him angrily. 

He smirked. “Gold prices went down while you were arguing with me. Happens.”

“This is worth three times that and you know it!”

“You really want to push this, _girl_? Maybe I should go talk to one of those shiny new friends you’ve found, see what they think it’s all worth.” He jerked his head up at the ceiling, where she knew several cameras were hiding. 

She swallowed her anger and shoved the bills into her pants. Plutt would likely get himself in as much trouble as her if he ever did show his tapes to someone, but she wouldn’t put it past him to do it out of spite. She wrapped her fingers around the strap of her bag and briefly considered throwing it down onto the counter. A couple hundred dollars would keep her from having to do this again that much longer. But Plutt would likely cheat her out of that too; he wasn’t about to let her stop relying on him. Her biggest haul in months, of course he had to ruin it for her. Instead, she turned on her heel and strode out of the shop. 

“Come back soon!” Plutt taunted after her. 

Rey walked through the streets back to her apartment, her anger driving her. She should know better than to let Plutt get to her by now, but it still stung every time. By the time she stood in front of her door, she'd worked off some of her frustration, enough for her to remember to open the door slowly and shut it quietly behind her. Her roommates had no reason to be up at this hour, and she didn't need to wake them. 

She locked the door behind her and padded to her room. The apartment remained still and quiet. Once she closed her door, she immediately peeled off her clothes and fell into bed, barely taking the time to stash her money and her bag. She had just enough time to get a couple hours of sleep before heading to work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited to finally be able to share this with you all! I would love to know what you think.
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/)


	2. Worm Moon II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support on the first chapter! I struggled a lot with this fic, and it's really good to hear that people want to read more of it. I'm going to try to update about twice a week!

The day passed in an exhausted haze, from the garage to classes, barely staying awake through the lecture, and then a short break before she had to clock in at Maz’s. She could use a nap, but the chance that she wouldn’t wake up in time wasn’t worth the risk. Instead, she pulled out the bag from its hiding place. 

Glancing over her shoulder to double check that her door was closed, she took the coat out and lay it on her bed. It felt just as soft as she remembered, with that same indefinable draw. She refrained from burying her face in it and instead dug in the pockets of the bag for the note. With it in one hand, she pulled her phone out with the other and sat on the bed looking between them. 

Realistically, the number probably wouldn't even work. Or it would be answered by someone who had no idea who Ben Solo was and didn't know what she was calling about. Even better, it could be answered by someone who did know who he was and called the cops on her. The odds of this going well for her were not in her favor. The paper crinkled as her fingers tightened around it. She let out a slow breath. 

The rational thing to do would be to burn the note and hide the coat with the garbage. If she wanted to risk it, Plutt would still likely give her a couple hundred for it. Even though he'd give her a hard time, it'd probably improve her odds with him in the long run. Instead, she dialed the number. 

Her phone showed it as a California area code, and she stared at the screen as it dialed out. It rang several times, and she was about to give up when the call connected with a click. Her heart stopped. 

“Hello?” said a voice on the other end. It sounded like an older woman, and Rey couldn't breathe. “Hello?” she said again, more impatient. 

Rey unstuck her tongue. “Hello,” she rasped.

A beat of silence. “Who is this?” the woman asked. 

“I, um.” If Rey had thought about what she would say, it all went completely out of her head. “Is this...Mrs. Solo?”

The woman hesitated, and Rey thought again how there was no way this would work; it was probably some complete stranger -- 

“Organa-Solo,” the woman corrected. “May I ask who's calling?”

“This is -- I'm Kira,” Rey said, stumbling over the lie. “I think...I found something of yours? Or your son's maybe? This number was in the pocket.”

There was a sharp gasp on the other end. “Ben?” the woman asked, voice sharp with desperation. “You have something of Ben's?”

“I -- yes, it's a coat, his name--”

“You found his coat?” Rey flinched and held the phone away from her ear.

“Yes, a fur coat--” A choked sob on the other end interrupted her this time. “Ma’am?”

The other woman didn't say anything for a bit and Rey listened to the sounds of barely restrained tears overlaying various swearing and a few words she didn't understand. “Are you okay?” Rey ventured. 

She could almost hear the woman drawing herself together on the other end. There was a rustling of clothing and she could imagine this woman sitting straight, composing herself. “I am… much better than I have been,” she said haltingly, but with an undeniable firmness to her voice. 

Rey waited. “Should I… send it to you?” she said eventually. 

“I -- why don't you bring it to my son? I think that would be best.”

Rey started. “You know where he is?” She had a sudden vision of being sent the address to a cemetery to pay respects to someone she'd never known. 

The woman laughed bitterly. “Despite some very determined efforts, yes. I do. I assume you found his coat nearby? Are you in Daxam?”

“Um. Yes?”

“Perfect. Ben lives at 96 Sienar Street, apartment 218.”

Rey blinked. “That's not far.”

“Could you take it to him then? I'm sure he would be very grateful.”

“Er, yeah. I could do that. But…” Rey trailed off, not sure what she was going to say. Nothing about this had gone as she'd expected. 

“Good,” the other woman said decisively. Then, in a gentler tone. “Thank you, Kira. I can't tell you how much this means.” 

“It's… no problem,” she said weakly. 

The woman laughed again, genuinely this time. “I am very sure that's not true. I appreciate it anyway though.” She fell quiet and Rey started wondering what a tactful way to hang up would be in this kind of circumstance. She'd never been famed for her grasp of social niceties, and how to say goodbye to the mother of a stranger who's stolen coat she'd rescued wasn't covered in public school. 

Thankfully, the other woman somehow had a more graceful grasp on the situation. “I should let you go,” she said, and Rey thought she sounded genuinely regretful. “But I would very much like to talk to you again, Kira. Maybe after you've seen my son?”

Rey hesitated. This was yet another bad idea, but the woman sounded so hopeful, she didn't have the heart to turn her down. “Okay.”

“Thank you so much.” Rey could hear her smile. “Again. I look forward to hearing from you.”

Rey mumbled her way through returning the sentiment and saying goodbye, then quickly punched the red button on her phone. She held it in both hands, hunched over it in disbelief. That was...something. She looked at the note next to her on the bed. She’d felt almost sure about the child behind it before, but now it just raised even more questions. Was Ben living with his father? She’d have thought that his mother would have given up her husband’s name if they were divorced, especially with how she’d mentioned the difficulties in finding her son. Was he an adult, living on his own? His mother clearly cared for him; why wouldn’t he talk to her? How long had Snoke had this? She had even less idea what she’d stepped into than when she’d started. 

She glanced at the time on her phone. She still had a little time before she needed to head to the Cantina, enough to make a short detour on the way. It wasn’t like she had a lot of free time for these sorts of things. And she knew she’d never be able to sleep with this hanging over her another night. Worst case, he didn’t answer. She grabbed her bag, the coat, and the note and headed back out the door. 

Rose was sitting on the couch and looked up as Rey passed. “Off to work early?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Rey said casually. “Just need to drop something off before.”

“Do you want me to come with?” Rose said, sliding her textbook onto the coffee table. “It’s late, and I don’t mind. I could use a break.”

“It’s fine,” Rey said, brushing her off. “It’s just around the corner.”

“Okay,” Rose said reluctantly. “Call if you need to though.”

Rey nodded. “Will do.” She checked her pockets for her pepper spray and pocket knife and swung her bag over her shoulder. “Be back in the morning.”

“See you,” Rose called after her as she left. Rey locked the door behind her. 

The walk to Ben’s address was more like a couple blocks over, but still not too far. She passed drunk college students and other evening travellers on her way, keeping out of their path. Her mind kept running over the possibilities of what sort of person Ben Solo could be. All sorts of scenarios formed, each more ridiculous than the last. By the time she got to the right block, she half expected Ben Solo to be some celebrity’s love child hidden away out of the public eye. She was so wrapped up that she nearly walked past the address, though she could hardly believe she’d missed it. 

The building stood out on the block, much nicer than the ones around it. The style was similar, but someone had taken the trouble to renovate 96 Sienar, while the buildings on either side sunk into mild disrepair. She stopped short on the sidewalk.

“Watch it,” a man growled as he stepped around her. She didn’t answer. 

She crossed over the sidewalk and stood in front of the labelled buttons listing the residents of the building. Apartment 218 was simply labelled “Ren”. Rey frowned. Maybe it was a misspelling? She buzzed anyway. 

An annoyed man answered. “Hello?” he said, the static making his voice sound even harsher. 

“Hi, I have a package?” Rey said, wondering if she was talking to Ben Solo or someone else.

“I didn’t order anything,” the man snapped. 

“It’s from--” something about the way the woman earlier had reacted told her not to say his mother “-- a friend.”

The man sighed, a gusty rush of static. “Fine. Come on up.”

The door buzzed and unlocked. Hardly believing her luck, Rey pulled it open and walked in. She passed through a small lobby with various mail boxes and an office for a building manager and pressed the button to call the elevator. The doors slid open, the cab already waiting for her. She stepped in and pushed the second floor button. The elevator hummed and clanked its way upward and she tapped her foot impatiently. It stopped, and the doors opened on an empty hallway with a few plain gray doors on either side. 

Rey found number 218 at the end, the door looking significantly more banged up than the others she’d passed. Various scuff marks decorated the bottom, and the door seemed slightly bowed, as if it’d been punched from the other side. Trepeditation welled in her, but she knocked anyway. 

A tall man opened the door and glowered down at her. His face seemed to be made for that expression. Wavy dark hair that looked like it had seen more styling than hers had at any point in her life hung around a pale face and brown eyes glared from under heavy brows. She had to look up to meet them, which didn’t usually happen. “What?” he growled. “I swear to fuck, if this is from Hux, thinking he can drag me out at all hours to clean up his messes, you can tell him to shove it--”

“Are you Ben Solo?” Rey asked, interrupting whatever he was saying. 

His face went even paler than it already was. “What?”

“Are you--”

He cut her off. “I heard what you said.” Opening the door further, he stepped out into her space. “Who told you that? Where did you hear that name?”

“It doesn’t matter. Are you him or not?” Rey demanded, refusing to be intimidated. 

“Like fuck it doesn’t matter. Who are you? Who sent you?”

“Your mother,” she said. She hadn’t thought it would be possible for his face to go any whiter than it had after she’d asked his name, but he managed it. Against the black of his hair, he looked wraith-like. He swallowed convulsively.

“She knows -- you need to leave,” he told her, looking up the hallway as if making sure no one was listening. Rey held her ground. He looked at her like she was the one being unreasonable. “Now.”

“I’m not leaving until I give this to Ben Solo,” she said, pulling her bag off her back. He drew back like she’d offered him a bomb. She rolled her eyes. “Is this yours?” 

With her still holding the bag, he tentatively opened it. His gasp was sharp in the silence between them when he realized what was inside. He stood frozen with a handful of the coat in one hand like he couldn’t believe his eyes. He didn’t move for several seconds and she was about to poke him when he pulled the coat out all at once, gathering it in his arms. 

“You -- _how_?” he whispered. He held the bundle of fur as tenderly as a child, hands clutched in the thickness of it. 

“Are you Ben Solo?” she repeated, softer this time. She thought she already knew the answer.

“I was,” he murmured. He looked up at her with wide eyes. “Where did you get this?”

She shifted on her feet. “I found it,” she hedged. 

He chuckled, an oddly rusty sound. Her eyes jerked up to meet his. “I’m sure.” He looked down at the coat again in disbelief, then back up at her. “I thought I’d never see this again,” he said, sounding almost close to tears. 

She shrugged uncomfortably. “I’m glad I could get it back to you.” She turned to go, feeling out of place.

“Wait.” He grabbed her arm, holding her lightly. She pulled away from his grasp but stopped. “I assume you talked to my mother to find me?” 

Rey nodded. “A bit.”

“And I’m sure you’ll be checking back in with her.” She didn’t answer, but he didn’t seem to need her to. “What’s your name?”

“Kira,” she said, before she could think twice about it.

He looked at her like he suspected the lie, but didn’t comment on it. “Kira,” he repeated, and then to her shock, he took her hand and bent over it, like he was some actor who’d broken out of the Renaissance faire. “I’ll see you soon.”

She didn’t plan on ever seeing him again, but she muttered “See you" to placate him then made a break for the elevator. As the doors closed in front of her, she saw him watching her, standing alone in the empty hallway, fur still clutched to him like a lifeline. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was such an emotional chapter to write; I'd love to here what you thought below!
> 
> I mentioned before how amazing Persimonne was in helping me to get this done, and she's even more amazing than that, because she made this wonderful art that I'm just going to stare at continuously for the forseeable future <3 Warning for spoilers for later in the story but you can see this glory [here](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/178738341483/this-is-a-quick-sketch-i-made-some-time-ago-to)!
> 
>    
> [tumblr chapter link](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/178741877928/chapter-two-on-ao3-chapter-1-rating-t-m-later)


	3. Waning Gibbous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delays! I'm going to catch up on replying to comments as soon as I can, but I've somehow gotten stuck in 12 hour shifts this week and it's throwing everything off. I appreciate all your kind words so, so much. <3

Between rushing to the garage in the morning, to her afternoon classes, and then to the bar, it wasn’t shocking that returning a call to a stranger slipped Rey’s mind. She prided herself on keeping track of all the things she had going on; it was the only way she managed to stay afloat. But in the light of a new day, the business of the Solos and the fur coat seemed more like a strange dream than something that had actually happened. She had real jobs to take care of that didn’t involve restoring stolen property to complete strangers who, to be honest, didn’t seem entirely normal. 

With a paper due for her English class and increasingly difficult homework in statics, thoughts of strange men and coats ended up at the back of her mind, until the very same man showed up in the Cantina one night and nearly made her drop the drinks she was holding. She caught herself at the last moment and glanced back at the booth. Ben Solo sat there casually, looking simultaneously like he belonged and standing out like a sore thumb from the rest of the customers. His posture was relaxed, hands resting easily in his pockets, and he could have been anyone stopping by for a drink after work or between jobs, but there wasn’t anyone else in the bar that looked quite like Ben Solo. While spring had just started and plenty of people wore coats, especially after dark, no one else in the Cantina had on a full-length fur coat. Even without that, Rey thought he'd still manage to stand out, with his dark waves of hair mixing with the fur at his collar and his brooding features that seemed more appropriate to a period film than a well-worn bar on the edge of the city. 

Flustered, she finished walking to her table and set down the drinks for the two men there, stammering as she repeated their orders. One of the men gave her an odd look, then followed her gaze over his shoulder to Ben. He rolled his eyes and muttered something to his companion as Rey walked away. Taking a deep breath, she aimed for Ben.

“What can I get you today?” she said breezily, eyes fixed on her notepad. He didn’t answer, and she let the silence hang before finally giving in and looking at him. His expression was torn between disbelief and amusement, lips quirked in a smile even as his eyebrows rose. 

“We need to talk,” he said seriously. 

“I’m working,” she pointed out, gesturing around her. 

He breezed past that without acknowledging it. “Did you talk to my mother?”

She sighed. “Just the once, I haven’t had a chance to call her back.”

He frowned, as if there was something profoundly wrong in her failing to keep in touch with a stranger. “Do you even know -”

“Hey!” Another customer waved at Rey from a couple booths over. “Can I get some _service_ over here already?” Rey gritted her teeth before pasting on a smile and walking over.

“Yes?” she said sweetly. He waved his empty beer bottle at her expressively. “Another of the same?” Rey asked, biting her tongue. 

“Ain’t you a smart one,” the man said, letting the bottle land back on the table with a thud. The rest of his group in the booth snickered. 

“Anything else?”

The table gave assorted nos, and Rey went to the bar to grab another of the cheap beers. She returned and slid it onto their table wordlessly before walking back to Ben. He was glaring at the group of men like he could bore through their heads, but his gaze snapped to her as she approached, abandoning the death stare for his earlier intensity. 

“I’m serious, Kira, this can’t be put off.” 

“ _What_ can’t?” she asked petulantly. “I gave you your coat back, what else do you need?”

He stared at her, dumbfounded. “How -- you can’t --” He ran his hand through his hair, disheveling it even more. Rey watched him blankly. “I --” Rey crossed her arms and let him stumble his way through whatever he was trying to say. “How could you possibly have done this if you didn’t even know what you were doing?” His voice rose as he spoke, above the general hubbub of the bar, and a couple of the people around them glanced over. 

“I still don’t know what you’re so worked up about,” Rey said, her own voice rising in response. 

“What _I’m_ worked up about?” he said, hands waving around ineffectually. 

“Yes!”

“What’s going on here, hm?” Maz, the wizened owner emerged from her spot behind the bar, her sixth sense for trouble never failing her. 

“It’s nothing,” Rey said dismissively. 

“Can I help you, sir?” Maz asked Ben, eyes piercing through her thick glasses. 

“I’m just here to talk,” he said, a touch of desperation in his voice that made Rey feel a little bit guilty. But only barely. 

“I can’t have you bothering my waitress,” Maz told him firmly. “Rey, do you want this man to leave?”

Ben’s eyes snapped to Rey when Maz said her name, and she could see the confusion on his face. Rey considered him, then relented. “No, it’s fine.”

“Alright then,” Maz said, matter of fact. “Then why don’t you take your break and take care of this, and I’ll refill drinks for a bit, yes?”

“Okay,” Rey agreed, reluctantly. She turned back to Ben. “What are you drinking?”

“I’m not --“ She gave him a look. “Fine. Just a soda.” 

“What kind?”

“Diet coke, if you have it. And here.” He dug in his pocket for his wallet and pulled out a card. “I won’t be starting a tab. Just the soda.”

Rey nodded, and took the card. She couldn’t help but notice that the name on the plastic wasn’t _Ben Solo_ but _Kylo Ren_. She looked between him and the card and was glad to see him shift and look away. Good. He should be uncomfortable. She ran the card and took the receipt, then grabbed his soda and her own hit of caffeine. Maz shooed her off to Ben.

She handed Ben his drink as she sat down and took a fortifying sip of her own. “So are you even actually Ben Solo?” she demanded.

“You’re one to talk, _Kira_ ,” he said, sneering.

“Don’t be a dick,” she snapped. “I didn’t even know you. That coat was supposed to go to Ben Solo, are you him or not already?” She glared while he pressed his glass to his full lips. 

He finished swallowing and slowly set it down. “Yes,” he said finally. “But I haven’t gone by that in years. I changed my name when I left home.” He frowned at her. “Are you sure you talked to my mother?”

“Yes,” Rey snapped. “But we didn’t chat about your messed-up family history or whatever. She just told me where to find you.”

Ben looked at her in disbelief. “She didn’t explain _anything_?”

“She told me what I needed to know,” Rey said, bristling. 

“Clearly she didn’t, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Ben growled, leaning into the table.

“What else could I possibly have needed besides where to drop off your ridiculous coat?” Rey didn’t appreciate being made to feel like an idiot.

Ben fell back in his seat, dumbfounded. “You really don’t know what you involved yourself in, do you?”

Rey crossed her arms. “I’m not involved in anything with you.”

Ben snorted. “That is not even remotely true.”

“Why the hell would I be?” Rey felt increasingly out of her depth, which only made her more annoyed. 

Ben gave her that same incredulous look, like he couldn’t believe anyone wouldn’t understand whatever cryptic bullshit he kept talking around. Then he sighed. “Where did you get this?” he asked, voice softer but painfully earnest. 

Rey shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “I told you, I just found it,” she muttered. 

Ben smiled, a hint of bitterness at the edges. “I know for a fact that’s not true. You have no idea how much has gone into trying to retrieve this over the years.”

Rey looked at him in bewilderment. Every new thing she learned about this situation made less and less sense. “Why?” 

He sighed again. “It’s a long story. Longer still if you really have no idea what it is.”

“What it is? Besides a terrible fashion choice?”

Ben slumped forward on the table and rested his forehead on his hand. “You really don’t know anything,” he groaned. “How -” He sat back up with a heave. “Nevermind. Even if you don’t know, that doesn’t change what happens next. I’ll just have to --” He stared off into the distance brow furrowed. 

Rey watched, eyebrows raised. “Have to…?” she prompted, when she felt he’d waited long enough. 

He snapped back to himself. “Don’t worry about it,” he said dismissively. “I’ll take care of that part. In the meantime, this --” he reached into an inner pocket of his coat “-- is for you.”

He set a small velvet box on the table. “Is that --?” Rey said, her voice rising up against her will into a squeak.

He shrugged. “You’d know if you’d actually done your research before rushing into things you have no idea about. Though I can’t argue with the results.” He smirked.

She stared at him, hardly able to believe this was happening. “Where the fuck do you get off?” she half-yelled. He didn’t react, just looked calmly at her as if sliding what looked a hell of a lot like an engagement ring to a near stranger was a perfectly reasonable thing to do. 

Maz appeared out of nowhere next to the table. “I think you need to leave now, Solo,” she told Kylo. Her eyes behind her glasses glared fiercely, and while she shouldn’t have presented an intimidating figure at her size, with her hands on her hips, Rey thought she might just be able to give the tree of a man sitting across from her a run for his money. 

Ben stood, shrugging. “Fine.” He adjusted his coat around him and thrust his hands in the pockets. “Rey,” he said, inclining his head to her. 

“Wait,” she said desperately, grabbing for the box and standing. 

“We’ll talk again soon,” Ben told her, and then swept out of the Cantina. Rey stared after him, speechless. 

“Are you okay, dear?” Maz asked, placing a hand on Rey’s elbow. 

Rey looked down at the small box in her hand, brain still struggling to catch up. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. 

Maz nodded seriously. “I understand. Do you need some time?”

Rey shook her head. “It’s fine.” She shoved the box in her pocket, determined not to think about it until later. 

In her room that night, exhausted after working past last call, she retrieved the small box from where she’d tossed it in with her bag at the bar. She examined it with trepidation, turning it over in her hands. She’d never had a reason to see one of these in real life before, but it looked just like she’d come to expect from romantic comedies and television. She held it in both hands, running her fingers nervously over the soft fabric. With a deep breath, she pried the lid open. 

It fell into place with a crisp snap, revealing the ring. Small pearls were inset in the silver band with a deep blue stone in the center. She gasped and nearly dropped the box. It sat in her hands, glimmering in the lights of her room, faintly accusing her. 

Her first instinctive thought was how much she could sell this for. Ben had given it to her after all, and that meant it was hers now. With something like this, she might even be able to buy her way out of ever having to deal with Plutt again. But more than a moment of consideration quickly revealed the many flaws in that plan. Ben had said he’d see her again, and she believed him, especially with how he’d shown up at the Cantina last night. How had he found her there anyway? She didn’t think he’d hurt her, but he struck her as the kind of person it would be better to not be on the wrong side of. Not to mention, he would certainly be more likely to afford a lawyer than she was.

So. She had to give it back. She could take another evening and walk it over to his apartment, but she didn’t feel like playing into this any more than she had to. If he wanted it, he would find her. She snapped the box closed again with a pang of regret for the gorgeous ring. These sorts of things weren’t for her. 

She didn’t have to wait long for Ben to show up again. She half-expected him to appear in the bar the next night, but her shift was no more exciting than usual. Maybe it was just her paranoia, but she thought Maz came out to the front more than usual, which could have something to do with Ben’s absence. People who underestimated Maz learned quickly not to do so again. 

She walked to the garage in the morning like she always did. Teedo didn’t bother to greet her as she came in, just grunted and pointed her to a car. That worked for her. She dropped her bag off, put her coveralls on, and slid under the beat-up sedan.

The car ended up being more rust than metal, and she started taking pieces apart to clean them in hopes that it wouldn’t completely fall apart before she could fix it. She was sliding out with another handful of supports when a shadow fell over the car. She expected to see Teedo, berating her for spending more time of the piece of junk than was absolutely necessary, but instead Ben Solo stood over her, hands in the pockets of his jeans, ridiculous coat still wrapped around him. 

She pulled herself the rest of the way out from the car and stood up, dropping her tools on the ground. “How the fuck do you keep finding me?” she demanded, arms crossing over her chest.

“It wasn’t difficult,” he scoffed.

“That’s not an answer!”

“You don't even understand what this is,” he said, pulling on his coat. “How the fuck am I supposed to explain finding to you?”

Rey stared at him. “No part of that makes any sense,” she informed him. “Just tell me what you want so I can get back to work.”

She hadn't spoken quickly enough. Teedo appeared from his office, summoned by the sounds of someone not working. “What's going on here?” He didn't wait for an answer. “You,” he hissed, jabbing a spindly finger at Ben. “You droppin’ off a car?”

“No,” Ben growled. “I'm just trying to have a fucking conversation.”

“You can flirt with your little girlfriend when she's not on the clock. If you're not doing business, get outta my garage.”

Ben's hands curled into fists, and Rey thought he might actually take a swing at the owner. The two stared each other down, Teedo drawing himself up to his full height, though Ben still towered over him. Rey wouldn't mind seeing them going at it; she couldn't deny that she'd been tempted to punch her boss more than a few times. He'd inevitably find a way to blame this on her though, and it would be a pain to find a new garage that would let her fill in on her schedule. She braced herself to step between them, but before she could intervene, Ben stepped back. 

He turned to Rey, ignoring Teedo. “We still need to talk. There are things you need to know.” His honey-brown eyes looked into hers intently. 

“I'm getting that,” she muttered, then sighed. “Fine. I'll come by your place tomorrow.”

He shook his head. “I'm not staying there anymore.”

Rey gritted her teeth. Of course he wasn't. “Okay. Fine. I don’t work Sundays, I can meet you at the Cantina in the afternoon.” Ben hesitated. “Unless you've got a better idea,” Rey said, exasperated. She ignored her boss steadily growing redder behind Ben. 

“Fine,” he sighed. “I'll see you then.” He strode out of the garage without a backwards look. It wasn't until he'd left that Rey remembered the ring still hidden in her bag. 

“Shit,” she muttered to herself. 

Teedo still stood by the car, his face now a bright shade of puce, glaring at the open garage doors. Rey grabbed her tools to get back to work and his attention snapped to her. “You keep your boyfriends outta my shop, you hear?” he yelled at her, finger waving again. “I don't care what kind of side hustles you got going on after hours, but while you're here, you work for me.” He jabbed himself in the chest. 

“Yeah,” she muttered, and turned back to the car. 

Teedo stood over her, likely trying to come up with something else to say, but eventually gave up and went back to his office. 

Rey finished the sedan, a pickup, and started on another car by the end of her shift, then rubbed off the worst of the grime and headed for class. After a couple hours that had her head swimming, she returned to the apartment before getting ready for her shift at the bar. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to plug [Persimonne's gorgeous art](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/178738341483/this-is-a-quick-sketch-i-made-some-time-ago-to) again! Little bit of spoilers for the next chapter there, but it's all starting to come together. 
> 
> Ben and Rey are getting to talk some more! Thoughts? :D
> 
> [tumblr chapter link](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/178934095783/chapter-three-waning-gibbous-ao3-ch-1-worm)


	4. Third Quarter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay again! I'm still working on getting this schedule down. Thanks to Persimonne for reminding me!
> 
> And thank you all for all your wonderful comments. <3 I appreciate all of them very much.

When Sunday rolled around, she was more than ready to get all of this over with. Curiosity kept nagging at her about every one of Ben’s constantly dropped hints, since the insufferable ass apparently couldn’t say anything straight.

She wasn’t even surprised to find him already waiting for her in a corner of the bar when she arrived. He looked ill at ease, broad body folded at the end of one of the benches set into the wall, leg crossed like he was trying at nonchalance. The way his eyes darted around the room and the occasional twitch of his hands in the pockets of his coat gave him away. He still hadn’t made much of an effort to blend in, but the warm and patchy lights of the Cantina did him some favors, so the mobster stand-in sulking on the edges didn’t stand out as much as if he’d been sitting up at the bar. 

His eyes tracked her as she walked across the Cantina. She waved a greeting at Maz as she passed the bar, and the older woman gave her a measured nod in return. Rey slid into the booth across from Ben. 

“So,” she said, looking expectantly at him. 

“So,” he repeated, eyebrow raised. 

She huffed in exasperation. “You're the one who said we needed to talk!” She’d barely gotten there, and he was already getting on her nerves. 

“Calm down,” he hissed. “Maz is barely restraining herself from throwing me out as it is, don't give her a reason.”

Rey gritted her teeth. “I would be a hell of a lot calmer if you just told me what the fuck was going on already!”

Ben sighed. “I know. I will.” Rey waited, not very patiently. 

“Well?”

Ben still hesitated. “Why don't you grab something to drink? This is going to take a while.” He circled the straw in his own drink, another Coke, rattling the ice.

Rey nearly told him exactly what she thought of that suggestion, but then considered that having a drink might possibly make Ben a little less unbearable. Nothing else had worked yet, but it was worth a try. Besides, then she'd have something to dump on him if she needed to make an exit. 

She went up to the bar and Maz passed over a bottle before she even asked. Rey reached for her wallet to pay, but Maz shook her head. 

“Maz --" Rey protested. 

“Trust me, kiddo,” Maz interrupted. “You're going to need it.”

That stopped Rey in her tracks. Cryptic warnings from a stranger were easy to ignore. Maz, on the other hand, regularly faced down bar brawls, police, and everything else that got dragged into the Cantina without blinking. Not much could get a reaction from her. Rey took the bottle with a nod of thanks and returned to Ben's booth under a cloud of apprehension.

“Ready?” he asked, sitting up in his seat.

Rey rolled her eyes, not about to let him see her insecurities. “Been,” she said pointedly. 

He nodded. “Okay. Well, I guess the thing to start with would be…” He trailed off. Rey ached to roll her eyes again. Instead, she cleared her throat pointedly. “Sorry,” he said, scrunching his face. “I've never had to explain this to someone before.”

“Yeah, you've already pointed out what an idiot I am,” she snapped. 

“No, that's not what I -” He sighed. “Right. What do you know about selkies?” 

Rey blinked. “Selkies?” The name sounded familiar, but she couldn't place it. “Nothing, I guess.”

Ben slumped in his half of the booth. “Of course.” Rey didn't bother restraining herself this time and kicked him. “Hey!” 

“Less condescension, more actual explanations.” 

“Yes, alright. So. There are different variations and species, just like there are with almost anything, but essentially selkies are magical creatures with the ability to change between human and seal forms.”

Rey looked at him, deadpan. “Are they.”

“Yes.”

“Okay. So?”

“I am one.”

“I'm sorry, what?”

“I'm a selkie. On my mother's side, descended from a royal line.”

Only Maz’s seriousness earlier kept her from walking out of the bar right there. “Excuse me?”

He spread his hands. “I don't know how else to explain it.”

Rey stared at him, wordless. She wasn't to the point of believing him, but she could at least play along until she figured out what he wanted from her. “Okay. Sure, you’re part seal.” The whole thing felt ridiculous, like something out of Rose’s bargain bin romance novels. “Is this the part where you tell me that fairy tales are real after all, and also Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy?”

He growled in frustration. “This isn’t a joke, Rey.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “You’ve got to realize that this sounds more than a little ridiculous.”

He sighed. “Yes, just about everything you've ever heard about, all the monsters and fairy tales, are out there, just not in the way you think. Witches, werewolves, vampires, hell, probably even Bigfoot. But I can’t exactly conjure a rabbit or turn into a seal right here to convince you. You’re going to have to believe me.” His tone was a mix of desperation and annoyance.

“Why should I?” she asked, hand wrapped tight around her beer. 

He snorted. “There’s not a whole lot of advantage of me trying to convince you about this if it’s not true. I’m not getting anything out of tricking you here.”

He had a point. “So why are you telling me then?”

“Because you’ve gotten yourself involved and you need to know.”

“Hmm,” she grunted, not entirely convinced. She looked up and caught Maz’s eye from the bar, where she must have been watching them. She gave Rey a steady nod and returned to her customers. Somehow, that just made everything seem ever more surreal. Rey turned the idea over in her mind, laughing to herself as she imagined the man in front of her changing shape. “So is it like werewolves, but with seals?”

His expression turned pained. “I wouldn't put it that way, but if you insist. We can change outside of the full moon, but it can be harder, depending on the selkie. We're… connected to the moon, more than some species, less than wolves, but like many types of magic, our power waxes and wanes with the lunar cycle.”

Rey raised her eyebrows at him. “Power?”

“Yes,” he said simply. 

“So whatever magic it takes you to turn furry and go for a swim?” 

Ben looked at her in exasperation. “No. We have our own form of magic, just like plenty of other creatures.”

“Really? What kind of magic?” Rey was almost enjoying herself now, even if this still felt like nonsense.

He shrugged. “Just...magic. The ability to do things that aren’t strictly possible under the laws of physics. It’s a form of energy that can be used to influence the world around us.”

“Like what?”

His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Like what can you do? Make things fly around? Light them on fire? Make them appear or what?” Rey waved her hands around in demonstration and Ben watched her movements askance.

“It depends; different people have different abilities and specialties and limits on how much power they have accessible to them,” he said. It sounded like he was striving to keep from insulting her intelligence again, and Rey could at least appreciate the effort. 

“Okay, but what can you do?” she asked, looking at him pointedly. 

He hunched over slightly, and Rey cocked her head. “I’m best with fire,” he muttered. Rey’s eyebrows flew upwards and her lips twitched. 

“Really?” 

He looked up at her, glaring. “Yes,” he snapped. 

“Is that...common for selkies?” She suspected she knew the answer from his reactions.

“No,” he said, directing his glare at his soda. 

Rey nodded, and Ben stabbed at the ice in his drink with his straw. “Show me,” she demanded, leaning over the table.

His eyes jerked up to hers. “What?”

She looked at him expectantly. “You’re telling me you can do magic. I want to see.”

“I can’t -” He looked around the bar at the few patrons lingering on a Sunday afternoon. “You don’t just start using your powers in the middle of a bar.”

Rey shrugged. “No one else is watching.”

Ben ran his hand through his hair. “That’s not how this works. There are rules and rituals and -”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Yeah, sure.” Her tone conveyed exactly how convinced she was by his excuses. 

He growled under his breath. “You are _impossible_.”

Rey smirked at him. “Does telling women in bars that you have magic powers usually work out for you?”

He huffed. “Fine.” With another surreptitious glance around the bar, assuring himself that no one was looking over at them, he held out his hand over the table. She watched as he stared intently at it for a moment, and then a small flame appeared in the middle of his hand. She gasped, and he immediately closed his hand around it and looked around again. No one else had noticed. 

Rey blinked, trying to figure out if she’d seen what she thought she just saw. Could it have been a trick of the light, something he’d done that had been too fast to notice? Somewhere deep inside, she desperately wanted to believe that he wasn’t crazy, that there really was magic in the world. Stories and fairy tales had kept her going like nothing else had when she was little. But age and experience had tampered her hope with suspicion, the better to keep herself from getting hurt. It scared her how much she wanted what he told her to be true. 

Ben watched her warily, waiting for her reaction. “Do it again,” she said, voice slightly hoarse. Something in her must have told him not to argue. 

His eyes flicked across the bar, then he slid out of his side of the booth and into hers. She started at first, then slid over to make room for him. His large body pressed warm against her side, and her breath caught for a moment in a way she cursed herself for in her head. He smelled warm too, a whiff of salt and a sharp tang of the ocean she'd caught off his coat before. An edge of smoke came from his skin, more campfire than cigarette. 

“Hold out your hand,” he said quietly. 

She laid her left hand on the table, like he'd done. He turned so that his back was to the bar and curled his hand on the table next to hers, not quite touching, but close enough that she felt the heat of his skin. His other arm wedged awkwardly between them as he leaned in. The silky fur of his coat brushed against her, and she had the fleeting thought that she wished she’d left her jacket at her apartment so it could slide against her bare skin. Ben took a slow breath in, chest expanding to her side, and then let it out just as carefully. In the middle of his exhale, the flame appeared over her palm. 

She tensed, nearly jumping, but forced herself to stay still to make the moment last. The flickering light was still small, about the size of a fingernail, and his broad hand kept anyone who wasn’t standing over them from seeing it in the room beyond. It danced just above her palm, and the burning heat of it pressed sharply into her skin. Her hand reflexively jolted, nerves telling her to get away from the heat. Ben bent his fingers and the flame started moving a little more, enough to shift the heat from a concentrated point. She watched it with wide eyes. 

Everything about it seemed real, from the heat to the unmistakable undulations of a fire. It was like he’d lit a match in her hand and taken away the wood, but the fire remained. She curled her hand around it, entranced. Her other hand came up to pass over it. The flame tilted with the movement of the air, but remained steady. She cupped her hands together, so that she could barely see the flame through the gaps in her fingers, but it still burned. Her hands fell back to the table. Still curious, barely able to believe what she was seeing, she traced the air just above the flame, feeling the way the edges of it danced over her skin.

“Careful,” Ben murmured, his voice a rumble against her shoulder. She did jump this time, not realizing how close he’d gotten as he watched her play with his creation. Her finger accidentally slipped and fell through the heart of the flame. 

“Ow!” she yelped, and instinctively shoved the burnt digit in her mouth. The flame disappeared at once and Ben frowned at her in concern. 

“Don’t do that, let me see,” he said, tugging gently on her wrist. Her finger popped out, stinging in the air, but she curled her other hand around it protectively. 

“It’s fine! Don’t worry about it.”

He pulled his soda over from across the table and grabbed a few napkins from the half-empty stack at the end of the table, then poured a couple of the ice cubes from his drink onto the thin papers. They dampened quickly, and he held them out to her. “Here.”

She took them and wrapped them around her finger. It really wasn’t anything worth bothering about; she’d had much worse and probably wouldn’t be able to notice it tomorrow, but the cold and slightly sticky press of the napkins soothed the wound for now. “Thanks,” she muttered.

“No, I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.” His lips twisted in a bitter smile. “That should really be a family motto, when it comes to our powers. Or anything else, really.” 

She didn’t know what to say to that, so she focused back on the issue at hand. “So. You have magic.”

“I do.” He slid out of her side of the booth and walked back around to sit across from her again, giving them both room to spread out. The smell of stale beer grew stronger with him farther away, and she regretted the loss of his warmth before shoving the thought aside. 

She let the idea that the man across from her could really be what he said settle in, and it made her want to grin. There were so many things she wanted to ask, to know, but under it all was cautious hope that this could be real. “What else can you do?”

He smirked. “Not much that I can show you in public.”

She raised her eyebrows. “If you think that’s going to get me to come along to wherever your place is now, you’re headed straight for disappointment.”

He grimaced. “No, I - That’s not what I meant. I’m not good at the small things. My...teacher always told me I had no subtlety growing up, and that never really changed.” He held his hands out, gesturing vaguely. Rey got his meaning. Both in looks and actions, he was one of the least subtle people she’d ever met. She couldn’t imagine the six foot man in front of her going in much for delicate work, whatever that meant in the world of magic. 

“Besides,” he continued. “There’s only so much you can do with power alone. Most things take ritual, tools, some kind of focus.”

“Like a magic wand?” she asked, only half-teasing.

He rolled his eyes. “Even I’m more subtle than that.”

She eyed him, not sure that was completely true given his attire. Pieces began to click into place in her mind and she looked at him again. “Or a coat?” she said slowly. 

His lips twitched upwards. “Exactly.”

Things started to make sense in a weird sort of way with what he was telling her. The sleekness of his coat had a very particular look to it, now that she knew what she was looking at. “Is that what helps you become...not human?”

“Selkies are never truly human,” he corrected, and Rey got the sense that he couldn’t help himself. “But yes. It’s more than that though; a selkie’s coat is a part of them, more than anything a witch might use to help them change forms for a short while. We’re born with it. When we shed our skins to take human form, we become vulnerable. If a selkie’s coat is taken from them, it prevents them from accessing that part of themselves. It’s...not a pleasant separation.”

Rey didn’t have the experience to imagine what exactly it was that Ben described, but the painful ache in his voice was enough to tell her there was more to it than he said. “Is that what happened to you?” she asked quietly.

He pressed his lips together. “More or less.”

“Did someone steal it from you?” she asked, leaning in.

He sat back from the table. “It’s complicated,” he said shortly. Rey pursed her lips, not satisfied, but knew she wouldn’t get anything out of him about it right now. She sat back as well, crossing her arms. 

“So what now?”

That pulled him out of his brief sulk, and a ghost of a smile passed over his lips. “Well, now we’re married.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THAT HAPPENED
> 
> I've enjoyed so much seeing your responses in the comments, from all of you who saw parts of this coming, to those who were figuring it out! I'd love to know what you thought of this one XD
> 
> Here's the [tumblr link](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/179227475823/chapter-four-third-quarter-ao3-ch-1-worm-moon)!


	5. Third Quarter II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely loved seeing the reactions to the last chapter! :D Here's the follow up

Rey’s heart stopped. “What?” Her voice went up several octaves.

Ben, on the other hand, looked remarkably calm, except for the way his knee bounced under the table, and he went back to playing with his drink. “It’s tradition,” he said simply. 

Rey struggled with several responses to that before settling on, “ _How?_ ”

“You returned my coat to me. That’s been a marriage rite among selkies for as long as we’ve had our skins.” His eyes watched as he stabbed ice cubes with his straw, but then they flicked up to meet hers, watching her intently. 

“I’m not a selkie,” Rey said, a little desperately. 

Ben shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. It used to be a huge thing, humans stealing selkies’ skins to marry them. In our traditions, the marriage is only valid if the coat is returned, and the selkie is given their freedom. These days, it’s usually more symbolic, couples trusting each other with their coats, but the traditional route still applies. Everyone knew when I lost my coat what it would mean when it was returned.”

She stared at him in disbelief. “And you’re okay with that? You were ready to be married to whatever random person picked your coat up and gave it back to you?”

He shrugged. “If they gave it back, they knew what they were doing. Better than the alternative.”

“The alternative? And how the fuck would anyone know about that? I only got it back to you through blind luck!” Whatever hold Rey had thought she’d had on this conversation was swiftly disintegrating. Magic was one thing; this was another one completely.

“The alternative would be them destroying it, or using it to threaten me,” Ben said quietly, glancing away for a moment. Rey suddenly remembered exactly where she had found his coat, and in whose house, and her blood ran cold, even as she struggled to keep up with the rest of the conversation. “And anyone who knew about my coat would know what it meant. You didn’t stumble on it on accident, Rey.”

She opened her mouth to correct him, then closed it again as she reassessed how much she needed to tell him. “I practically did,” she insisted. “It wasn’t like I was looking for it.”

His eyes met hers with an earnest intensity. “I know where this was being kept,” he said, pulling on the coat. “Don’t insult me by telling me that you didn’t have to put any effort into getting it.”

“I - That’s not what I meant,” she protested, but he shook his head and kept going.

“I know you still don’t understand everything that’s going on here, and that’s not saying anything about you,” he said, before she could interrupt him. “But you’ve just learned that all this even exists; you can’t get what it all means yet. But with what you do know about what this is and where you found it, do you think it would still have been there if it was so easy to retrieve?”

Rey struggled for words for a moment, before giving the only answer that made sense. “No.”

Ben sat back and nodded. “So. This was never going to be a conversation I had to have with some stranger who tripped over my skin in a ditch.” He half-smiled. “Though I have to say I didn’t expect this either.”

“I am just some stranger though,” Rey argued. “I’m not anyone. It’s really not any different than if I had found it in a dumpster.”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “You may be no one, but that wasn’t nothing. When did you take this from him?”

“A day or two before I gave it to you? I didn’t want to hold onto it for long.”

He looked like he was counting back in his head. “...the full moon? You raided Snoke’s house on the full moon?”

She threw her hands up. “How the fuck would I know? I wasn’t aware I was supposed to be keeping track of those sorts of things.”

“Fuck, Rey, that’s…” He ran his hand through his hair, pulling on it. Rey tracked the motion, watching the soft dark strands fall back around his face as his large hand rested behind his head. He shook his head. “That’s incredible.”

“Why does it matter?” she asked. She hated how often he made her feel like she was missing something.

He blew a sharp burst of air between his plush lips and tugged on his hair again. “It’s like I was telling you about how most creatures have power that follows the lunar cycles. Going into the stronghold of something like Snoke on the full moon is a massive display of power; you’re betting that your abilities can beat his at his strongest.”

“It wasn’t like I went up and fought him! He wasn’t even there; I didn’t have to do anything.” 

“Still.” Ben looked at her intently. “To be able to get through Snoke’s defenses, especially without even noticing it - that takes incredible power. You have to have innate ability like I’ve never seen before.” There was a touch of what sounded like awe in his voice that Rey didn’t know what to do with. He crossed his arms with an air of self-satisfaction. “Which is exactly why this marriage isn’t the random accident you seem to think it is.”

“We are _not_ married,” Rey hissed. 

“Maybe not by human standards. I did give you a ring though.”

Rey grabbed for her bag. “You can take that back, I don’t want it. I don’t want _any_ of this.”

He shook his head. “Keep it. I gave it to you, it’s yours.”

“I’m not keeping anything that’s going to force me into some magical wedding with some crazy stranger!” Rey knew her voice was too loud, but she was beyond caring about the rest of the bar. 

“I’m not going to _force_ you into anything.” He’d been relaxed though intent on the conversation, but now everything in him tensed with the sincerity he pushed into the words. “By my culture’s standards, we’re married, ring or no ring. You can do with that what you will.”

Rey felt her panic ease slightly, though she remained on edge. “Still,” she insisted, one hand searching for the small box. 

“No,” Ben said firmly. “If it bothers you that much, sell it. It’s yours.” Rey paused at that. He spoke with the same honest intensity that she couldn’t help but believe. The way his eyes darted away when he mentioned selling it told her that he wasn’t as comfortable with the idea as he was trying to appear, but wasn’t going to come after her either. 

“So what does this mean then?” she asked, feeling like she was getting whiplash from how quickly he kept turning the conversation on her. 

He rolled his lips in an odd gesture that she took to mean as uncertainty. She flicked her eyes quickly back up to his when she noticed she was staring. “The marriage is a fact, but it doesn’t have to mean anything you don’t want it to. You’re involved in this now, whether you like it or not. For me, that means it’s my responsibility to protect you.”

“I can take care of myself,” she interrupted.

He huffed. “You don’t even know what you’re protecting yourself from. If you want, I can teach you. You need a teacher. But probably the easiest thing for you to do would be to leave the city, go find somewhere else to live where you haven’t pissed off the most powerful creature around.”

Rey breathed out slowly. She didn’t know how Snoke fit into this world of his, but she didn’t have a good feeling about it. She was regretting ever going to his house more and more by the minute. She wondered how much leaving would really help.

“And you’d what? Follow me?” It wasn’t like she could leave, or even would if she could, but she wanted to know how far this went for him. 

He jerked, like he hadn’t expected that to be her answer. “If you left for somewhere safe? Not if you didn’t want me to.”

She considered him, processing. “I can’t leave,” she told him. 

“I could help you,” he offered half-heartedly, like he already knew she wouldn’t accept. 

She shook her head. “I’m staying.”

He sighed. “Of course.” He looked at her seriously. “You should really learn what you’re up against then. They’re not going to leave you alone just because you don’t know what’s after you.”

She crossed her arms. “And you want me to learn from you?”

He gave a ghost of a smile. “Unless you’ve got a better idea.”

She scowled at him echoing back her words to her from the garage, but grudgingly admitted he had a point. She didn’t like being caught unawares, and there weren’t a lot of people jumping out of the woodwork to teach her the secrets of whatever magic underworld was happening around her. “I suppose there’s no chance of a magical divorce?” she asked, only half-joking. 

Ben snorted. “It doesn’t work like that.”

“Figures.” She tapped her fingers on the table. “Fine. Given the lack of any other magical creatures around, I guess I could use some...help.”

Ben nearly rolled his eyes, giving an exasperated look at the ceiling. “I deeply appreciate being allowed the opportunity to keep you from dying.”

She ignored his dramatics, even if it did make her heart jump to realize that he was very possibly not exaggerating. “And this isn’t going to be anything to do with how you think we’re married either.” 

“Understood.” She squinted her eyes at him, but couldn’t tell that he meant anything other than what he said.

“I still can’t believe you’re just okay with that. It’s insane,” she muttered.

Ben’s mouth twitched and he shrugged noncommittally. “It’s hardly the weirdest mating practice out there, even among mundane cultures.”

She jabbed a finger at him. “We are _not_ talking about mating.”

His small smile grew wider as she glared. “Suit yourself.”

She watched as he fished a melting ice cube out of his glass and popped it in his mouth, cheeks flexing as he sucked on it. He seemed to have relaxed significantly now that she’d agreed to let him help her. The idea of relying on anyone made her itchy, but this seemed like her best bet. “So what does this mean? You teaching me?”

He thought, swishing the ice cube back and forth before biting into it with a crunch. “You need to know what you’re up against, to start. If we can figure out how to tap into your powers, that would be even better. Is there --” His head jerked, eyes flying from her to where a pair of men had just entered the bar. They looked completely inconspicuous to Rey, bland to the extreme, from their faces whose features Rey forgot almost as soon as she looked at them, to their clothes that were noticeable only for their cleanliness. “Shit,” he swore. 

She looked back at him. “What’s wrong?” she asked, confused. The pair weren’t the first to come in while they’d be talking. The bar had filled up slightly as the day headed into evening, nothing like the night before, but enough that Rey and Ben didn’t stand out in their corner booth. There were an assortment of local drunks, people whose schedules didn’t have any concept of a “weekend”, and others who didn’t have any better place to be on a Sunday night. The two who had just entered hardly looked the most threatening. 

“Troopers,” he said under his breath. “Might be nothing, Hux likes to send them around to check up on things, but they wouldn’t usually stop through here.”

“Hux?” Rey asked, starting to feel just how behind she was in all of this. 

“Snoke’s _general_ ,” Ben spat. “He’s a rat-faced asshole who’s just in it because he gets off on controlling people. Don’t look at them,” he said quickly when Rey’s head started to turn back to the two men. “With any luck, they won’t notice us.”

“What happens if they do?” she asked, eyes fixed on him. 

He heaved a sigh. “Then this gets a lot more complicated. I’ve been avoiding Snoke so far, but it’s probably only because he’s letting me for now. He’s not the kind to let things go.”

Rey’s heart pounded. She still didn’t know exactly what all was at play here, but she wasn’t ready to let this end before she had figured it out. “Can you take your coat off?” she asked Ben. He was a distinctive man no matter what he was wearing, but the fur coat was a dead giveaway if anyone was looking for him. She may not have a handle on the magical parts of this yet, but she knew how to get out of a bad situation. Sometimes, without even punching anyone. 

“What?” he said, as shocked and offended as if she’d asked him to strip naked and dance on the bar. 

She gritted her teeth. “You don’t have to let go of it. Just...slip it off so that it’s below the table. Slowly.” She winced at the phrasing, but Ben didn’t seem to notice. 

He pursed his lips, then nodded. Carefully, with an expression as if he was pulling off his actual skin, he slid his coat off his shoulders, letting it pool around him on the seat. She smiled encouragingly at him. “What are you thinking?” he asked suspiciously.

Heart nearly beating out of her chest, she reached across the table for his hand. He yielded it to her, more out of surprise than anything. His skin was cool and damp to the touch from the condensation on his glass of slowly melting ice. She wrapped her fingers around his, brushing over his wrist. He jumped in his seat and looked at her with bewilderment. “What -?” he rasped, but she cut him off. 

“Your turn to trust me now,” she told him, smiling. Nerves buzzed under her skin, but she’d been in worse situations. Probably. 

His eyes widened, but he nodded. “What’s your plan?” he asked, voice a quiet rumble. His eyes flicked over her shoulder briefly and he groaned. “They’re sitting down. This may take a while.”

“Are they ordering anything?” Rey asked, a plan forming. 

Ben kept his eyes just to the side of hers, not watching them directly. “Yes. Maz took their orders.”

“Okay, great. We’ll leave when she drops them off. In the meantime, try to look interested in me, if you can manage that.”

His eyes snapped to hers. “What?”

She looked at him with brows raised. “We’re leaving here together through the back. There’s one really obvious reason to be doing that.”

Ben flushed a dark pink that quickly flooded up his cheeks. “Oh.” He looked back over her shoulder, then stiffened. “They looked over here,” he said in an urgent whisper. 

She kicked him. “Stop looking at them,” she hissed. His hand tightened around hers. His skin had quickly warmed between them, and his hand covered hers easily. She felt the tension running through him. “Kiss me,” she said, before she could stop herself. 

“What?” he said again, with a distinct squeak in his voice.

“Easiest disguise. No one pays attention to a couple making out.” Not a method she usually went for, honestly, but she’d seen it work before, and there was a first time for everything. 

“Do you do this a lot?” he muttered. It was hard to tell in the dim lights of the bar, but she thought his flush had grown even darker. 

“Are we going to do this or not?” she asked, leaning in. The edge of the table cut into her stomach, squishing the anxious flutters that tried to erupt there. 

He looked at her, indecision written clearly on his face. She thought he might back down, maybe flee the table on his own, but then the hand not holding hers made its way from the table into her hair, curling around the back of her head in a steady grip. She gasped involuntarily at the firm warmth, and he met her eyes with purpose as he leaned in to meet her. 

Their lips passed over each other in a gentle touch, much different than the quick and dirty show she had intended. He tilted his head so that he dragged his mouth back and forth over hers, too close to affectionate for comfort. His lips were soft and giving, and she wanted to bite them, pull him to her and sink into that plush redness. She shook herself. She wasn’t giving into his ideas of what was between them. 

She leaned further over the table and sunk her hand into his dark waves. There were just as soft as they looked, and her fingers itched to rub the silky strands between them. Instead, she dug her nails in, tilting his head so that she could open her mouth over his. She ran her tongue over his lips, quick and messy, and they opened in a gasp under her. She took advantage, sinking into the salt and smoke taste of him, sweeping roughly over him and then withdrawing. She allowed herself a quick nip of his bottom lip before letting go of him and shoving herself back into her seat. 

He looked at her, hair disheveled, lips red and slick, expression dazed. She smirked, even as her heart thudded against her ribcage. She shouldn’t have done that. They should have taken their chances and run as soon as he’d noticed the danger. She didn’t need to play into his fantasties, especially since that had felt far too good for her peace of mind. Desperate for distraction, she looked over at the bar, where Maz was filling a pair of tall glasses. 

The older woman gave her a look with raised eyebrows, but nodded as she took the glasses and stepped down from around the bar. Trust Maz to know better what was going on than she did. 

“Come on,” she muttered, grabbing her bag with her free hand and tugging on the hand still wrapped in Ben’s. 

He looked quickly behind her, saw Maz approaching the two men, and followed her lead, bundling his coat into his arms. She led him down the hallway with the bathrooms, not looking behind them, and then pulled out her keys to take them through the backroom and then out the back door to where they took deliveries. She locked the door behind them and turned to Ben.

“See? No problem,” she told him, eager to ignore what had happened before they’d left. He looked at her oddly, not as quick to move past it, but didn’t say anything. She flexed her empty hand. “So, lessons.” 

His lips scrunched in dissatisfaction, and if she’d thought they were difficult to ignore before, it was nothing to the way her eyes were drawn there now that she’d felt them. She looked away. “Lessons,” he agreed, eventually. 

“Are we starting this now?” She didn’t know what she wanted the answer to be. This night had already given her more than enough to think about, but she didn’t want to leave this hanging. 

He shook his head. “There are some things I need to check.”

That made sense. “When then?”

He shrugged. “Soon. When are you free?”

She thought. “I don’t have to work at the bar tomorrow, so I’m free in the evening after class.”

“Great,” he said, nodding. “I can meet you there, we should go somewhere to talk.”

“More talking?” she said, raising an eyebrow. 

“Have to start somewhere.”

She sighed. “Okay. My last class is in the Harrison building, off of Walnut. I can meet you out there at quarter to seven.”

He nodded. “I’ll be there.” He looked at her warily, then offered, “Can I walk you home?”

She hesitated for a second longer than she should have, but shook her head. This whole thing had devolved into something too close to a date for comfort, and she didn’t need to encourage him. “No, I’ll be fine.”

He looked as if he wanted to say something more, but settled on, “Be careful.” 

“I will.” She paused then added, “You too.”

His arm jerked as if he was going to offer his hand to shake, then thought better of it and shoved it in his pocket. He nodded again awkwardly. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” she repeated back to him, then turned for her apartment and walked away. Just before she turned on the sidewalk, she glanced back and saw him still there, watching her. He turned quickly and walked in the other direction. 

While they’d been in the bar, the sun had set and the moon rested low on the horizon. She looked up at it distrustfully, thinking of what Ben had told her. It had started to wane, bright edges chipped away, looking like it was slowly fading into the night sky. She fixed her eyes ahead, walking the streets back to her apartment under flickering yellow streetlights and the moon’s silver glow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably going to be at least a week until the next chapter while i sort through Halloween, Monster Week (I'M SO EXCITED), getting my charity anthology fic finished, and exchange things, sorry! In the meantime, the RFFA is starting up our third annual holiday exchange, [here's the post about it](https://reylofanfictionanthology.tumblr.com/post/179214541566/after-the-blazing-fire-dies-the-2019-reylo)! Sign ups go until Nov. 4th.
> 
> And here's the [tumblr link for the chapter](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/179227475823/chapter-four-third-quarter-ao3-ch-1-worm-moon)!
> 
> Feedback is so, so appreciated <3


	6. Waning Crescent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Thank you all so much for you amazing comments! I will catch up on replying to those tonight <3

When she slid into her usual seat for her last class the next evening, the room was less than half full. An astronomy class at the end of the day turned out not to be a popular choice for most students, but it worked well for Rey as something that met one of her core class requirements, fit into her schedule, and she didn’t have to force herself into attending. She pulled out her homework from her last class to work on as other students trickled into the room. 

A minute before class was due to start, Professor Tano strode into the room, scarf fluttering around her shoulders as she took the steps down to her lectern. Rey turned to put her work away and pull out her notes for the class when another student came down the side of the classroom and took the seat next to her. She looked up in surprise; the whole class generally took the same seats every lecture, spaced out across the room. Instead of another student, Ben Solo sat next to her with a slight smile under amused brown eyes. 

“I thought we were meeting _after_ ,” she hissed, as the professor set up her presentation to begin class.

He shrugged his broad shoulders. For the first time since she’d returned it to him, he wasn’t wearing his fur coat. Instead, a dark jacket stretched across his back with a matching t-shirt and dark pants. He could almost pass for a college student if it weren’t for the edge to him that instinctively told anyone who looked that he wasn’t someone to bother. “I was just going to wait nearby, but I thought this might be more interesting.”

She was about to retort, but Professor Tano cleared her throat, looking pointedly in their direction. Rey thought her glance lingered on Ben, but then she turned to the board and began the lecture, drawing a diagram of an elliptical orbit on the board. 

To Rey’s shock, Ben didn’t bother her at all throughout the class. Instead, he paid more attention than most of the students in the room, listening eagerly as Professor Tano explained the basics of the factors affecting the orbits of planets and satellites. She thought he’d be taking notes if he could, and he had an expression as if he was intent on committing every detail of the lecture to memory. When the hour was up, he looked disappointed, slumping back in his chair as the professor reminded them of their upcoming assignments. 

Rey packed up her notes, noticing that Professor Tano was looking over at them again. She quickly finished shoving her things away and hustled Ben out of the classroom before the professor could come over to ask questions about the new student not on the roster. 

She relaxed as they walked through the hallways and out of the building, Ben looking distracted and far away. “So, you’re interested in space?” she asked curiously as they emerged into the evening.

He startled and looked down at her. “Used to be,” he said, eyes on the sidewalk. She waited for him to follow that up, but he apparently didn’t want to discuss it. 

“Where are we going?” she tried again. 

He cocked his head. “Doesn’t matter. We can walk around and find somewhere.”

Sh looked up at him askance. “Nowhere in particular? You don’t have a secret training lair or anything?”

He snorted. “No. Not anymore. That would be helpful though.” 

They walked beside each other on the sidewalk, leaving the college campus buildings behind. The sun was sinking below the buildings in front of them, and the moon rose behind them. 

“Did you get done what you needed to last night?” Rey asked as they passed around a group of students taking up most of the sidewalk. 

He grimaced. “I hope so.”

“Is that why you don’t have your -?” She gestured vaguely to her shoulders. 

“My skin? Partially. You were right, it wasn’t safe to be carrying it around.” He looked twitchy as he spoke, as if going without his coat had removed a layer of armor from him. 

Without warning, he pulled her to the side, off of the sidewalk to a small plaza in front of the tall building they’d been passing. From the sign, Rey couldn’t tell if it was a bank or an insurance company, but the structure was suitably bland, with a nondescript fountain in front as decoration that had been half-heartedly maintained. With his hand wrapped lightly around her wrist, Ben guided her to one of the benches set around the small pool and they sat. She quickly pulled her hand out of his and slid over to give more space between them on the bench. Ben retrieved his hand and rested it on his leg. 

“Here?” Rey asked, eyebrows raised.

Ben shrugged. “Good as anywhere.” She cast a doubtful glance over the single spotlight illuminating the water feature and building and the occasional pedestrians still passing by on the sidewalk. 

“I thought you’d be more worried about being overheard after last time,” she said, trying to feel him out.

He shook his head. “Being overheard isn’t the problem. Either they won’t believe what they’re hearing, or they’ll already know. It’s being caught off guard that’s dangerous.”

“And we won’t here?” 

“I’m keeping an eye out.” His eyes flicked over the area as he spoke, and she followed the movement. “Besides, the plan is to do more demonstrations than talking, and it’s better to have the space, such as it is.”

Rey blinked. “I thought you said we were going to start with learning about what all this is before we got into magic. Not that I’m complaining about skipping over magical politics class.”

He pursed his lips. “If things had gone badly last night, you would have needed to know how to defend yourself. Not why those two in particular came after us.”

“Fair,” Rey said, nodding. “But I told you, I know how to take care of myself.”

He smiled at her, easing her irritation. “I’m sure you do, but I meant with your powers.”

She shook her head. “You said that, that I had to have magic, but that doesn’t make any sense. I’m not magical, and I don’t have any powers.”

“And I told you, that’s impossible.” Annoyance crept into his tone, but he kept his voice even. “There is no way you could have done what you did without some kind of innate ability, and something strong at that.”

“Don’t you think if I had something like that, I would have used it before now?” Rey growled. “Believe it or not, rescuing you wasn’t my ultimate goal in life here.”

“You probably have been,” he said, turning on the bench to face her fully. “You just didn’t realize it. Basic magics are frequently instinctual, it’s how abilities develop in children. They’re inherited from parents, didn’t yours -?” He trailed off as Rey set her jaw and crossed her arms.

“No,” she said shortly. 

He winced. “I’m sorry.”

She swallowed, looking away. Could that have been why her parents had abandoned her? Something to do with this ridiculous magical world that Ben had been born into? It didn’t bring her any closer to finding them yet, but maybe -- 

She shook her head. She knew better than to go back down that road again. No matter how tempting it was. 

“It’s fine,” she said, voice thick. Ben didn’t reply, just looked at her with those surprisingly soft brown eyes. Her back stiffened. “I don’t need your pity,” she snapped, arms still crossed protectively over her chest.

He sighed. “I’m not - fuck. I just want to show you what you could do, Rey.”

Her arms tightened around her, an instinctive reaction to someone trying to force help on her. Her teeth ground together, but she forced herself to realize what he was offering. Like it or not, this wasn’t something she could figure out on her own. And even though long habit had her rebelling against it, she could be better than that. She let out a slow breath and made herself relax. “Okay. Okay.” She placed her hands on her thighs, fingers digging in slightly, and turned towards him. “How do we start?”

He was watching her and smiled as she opened herself to him. “You’re already starting off well. The first thing to do is just to reach out and feel it - the force behind all of this.” He spread his hand, gesturing widely at the city around them.

She sighed. “Okay. And how do you do that?”

“Have you ever tried meditation?” he asked hopefully.

She snorted. “No.”

“Well, it’s kind of like that. I’m...out of practice, but you’re just supposed to relax and let it all flow through you.”

“All what?” Rey asked, annoyed at how vague this all sounded. She was used to things she could touch and work at; she didn’t have time to relax and let the world pass. 

Ben made vague gestures with his hands again. “You’ll know when you feel it. Everything is connected on a fundamental level. You have to let go and let yourself feel that.” He drew his legs up on the bench and crossed them, barely fitting the length of his body in the small space. His hands rested on his knees and his eyes slid closed. He wasn’t completely relaxed, something keeping the muscles in his neck and back tight, but he was trying to be. She huffed and copied him, though kept her eyes open in thin slits, watching him suspiciously. 

He opened one eye and squinted at her. “Relax,” he admonished, even as she heard the tension in his voice.

“We’re going to get arrested,” she muttered. She could almost feel his eyes roll. 

She closed her eyes and tried to relax. “This is stupid,” she muttered. “I don’t even know what I’m doing.”

“Shhh.” Ben didn’t even open his eyes. “I know it feels dumb. But let go, just for a minute.”

She resisted the urge to snap at him again and attempted to listen. She turned her hands over on her legs so they weren’t clutching her pants. With an effort, the tension in her shoulders eased, shifting her posture into something closer to his. She breathed in and out, tracking the rise and fall of her chest. 

“Start inside yourself,” Ben said from beside her. She almost jumped at the noise, but she let it flow over her. “Then reach out.” She wanted to demand a better explanation, but swallowed down the urge. She could at least prove him wrong. 

A gentle touch on her knee startled her. Ben’s hand at once burned and soothed, and everything suddenly centered on that point of contact. “Breathe,” he said gently, the word floating past her on the breeze.

She swallowed. Start inside. She followed the sensation of her breathing down into her chest and let the rhythm fill her. Every muscle stilled as she felt for the beat of her heart, a constant thudding grounding her. She sank into it, let it surround her. She’d never been to the ocean, but she imagined it was something like that: sinking below the surface, enveloped by what felt like life itself, extending forever all around. Waves lapped inside of her, a leashed energy just waiting to spill over. It was clearest where Ben touched her. He radiated his own kind of energy, and she could reach out and touch it with her own. She felt Ben inhale sharply next to her. 

“Yes, just like that,” he said, voice quiet but settling deep into her. “Reach out.”

She breathed in slowly, then let her senses expand in all directions. The first thing she felt was Ben next to her, a brand of energy barely leashed into his large form. Power licked below the surface of him, just waiting to flare out, but Rey felt with a bone-deep certainty that the storm she knew was inside of her would not be burned. He nudged against her, both more and less tangible than his hand on her knee, and she clumsily mimicked the gesture before reaching further.

Beyond Ben, the energy of the city leaped to her attention. The cool water, the cracked stones, the flickering presences of people all around them. People hurried everywhere, lost in anger or excitement or emptiness. An apartment building across the street and down the block lit up like a beacon, with people stacked all on top of each other, fighting and fucking and _living_. Smaller presences scurried along the streets and in the buildings, cats and dogs and rats, all with their own energy. And between - a force ran like a current underneath it all, lighting up in points here and there, but always present, always connecting everything. It couldn’t be escaped or destroyed. It just - _was_.

Rey gasped, shuddering, and the breath she pulled in felt sharp and new. Ben slid next to her, hand shifting to her back. “Breathe, Rey, it’s okay.” It took several more breaths before her heart slowed down enough for her to speak. She hadn’t even noticed when it had started pounding so quickly. “You alright?” Ben asked, hand still smoothing over her back as her chest heaved.

She nodded. “Yes,” she gasped. She focused on her breathing, then her face broke into a grin. “I felt it! All of it.”

He grinned back at her. “I know. Do you believe me now?” She shoved him gently with her shoulder and laughed, too giddy to be annoyed. 

“What _was_ that?” she said. Even though she wasn’t reaching for it any more, she could still feel traces of energy dancing over her skin. She didn’t sense the presences around her as clearly as she had, but they still shone like pin pricks in her mind. Ben was more than just a body next to her; she still felt the way she burned, and she basked in the glow.

“Different cultures and creatures have different names, but the easiest is the Force,” he said, smiling. She’d turned towards him, and his hand slid from her back to her arm. “It’s the basis of any power any of us has.”

“How do you use it?” she asked, flexing her fingers as if she could suddenly start summoning things out of thin air with them. 

“It’s been a while since I learned, but the easiest thing to start with should be moving things.” He unfolded himself from the bench and grabbed a chunk of broken concrete from the ground, small enough to fit in his palm. “Here.”

Rey looked at it dubiously. “So what do I do?”

“Lift it,” he said simply, holding it out on his hand in front of her. On instinct, she reached out a hand. He pulled it back. “With your mind,” he corrected. 

“Right,” she said, flushing. Her hand settled back on her thigh and she closed her eyes again. When she reached out, the life of the city flooded over her once more, but she couldn’t pick out the single rock from the rush of it all. She huffed and opened her eyes. Maybe if she - 

She willed the rock to lift up off Ben’s hand with her mind, feeling like a child playing at having superpowers. The feeling worsened when the rock refused to move. Her face scrunched in concentration, but it didn’t so much as wiggle. She let out a long breath and slumped.

Ben watched her thoughtfully, brow furrowed. “You’re focusing too much on the rock,” he told her.

She scowled. “What else would I be focusing on?”

“Use the Force,” he corrected. “It’s not a matter of lifting the rock yourself, it’s getting the Force to move it.”

“Has anyone punched you after they got sick of your cryptic bullshit before?” Rey said, folding her arms.

He actually laughed at that. “Not usually. I’m pretty sure I’ve been known for being too blunt.”

She gave him a look, unconvinced. ”It’d be nice if you tried that for a bit.”

“I’m trying, I promise. If you think I’m bad, you should’ve met who I first learned from. You probably would have ended up fighting him.” He looked off in the distance thoughtfully. “I’d pay to see that, come to think of it. But we’re going to have to deal with this together for now.”

He held out his hand again, and Rey gritted her teeth. This time, she tried feeling under the rock, pushing it up from beneath without thinking about the rock itself. 

“No,” Ben said quickly. 

She glared. “What?”

“You’re trying too hard to force it. Work with it.” He spoke evenly, but she heard the irritation creeping into his tone too.

“I still don’t know what you mean!” Her voice cracked with frustration.

“You’ve used this before, without thinking about it,” Ben told her. “Try to remember what it was like then.”

“But I didn’t know I was doing it then. How am I supposed to remember that?” 

He hummed thoughtfully, mouth twisting. “I think if - Maybe if you could feel what I’m doing, you’d understand,” he said slowly.

“Okay,” she said, dragging out the word. 

“Can I - If you turn and I sat behind you…” He gestured and she started to understand what he meant. She hesitated, then turned to make room for him. Carefully, he fit himself behind her, legs around hers, arms coming around her waist so that his hands held the rock in front of them. She breathed slowly, working past the instinctive fear that came from feeling like she was being caged in. Ben gave her as much space as he could, not quite touching, a breath of air between his chest and her back. She immediately felt warmer. “Is this okay?” he asked, and she felt his voice. 

She nodded. “Show me,” she said, looking intently at the rock. 

“Okay.” His breath gusted against her hair at the back of her neck. The rock sat heavy in his left hand, and then with an effort as easy as breathing, it floated above it. Rey blinked. She’d felt something happen, a connection from the man behind her to the rock moving in front of her, but she’d missed exactly what.

“Do it again,” she demanded. She felt his smile as the rock settled back down in his hand, with some of that same energy, and then slowly lifted up again. It was a little clearer this time; she felt his connection to the Force and how he reached into it.

“One more time,” she said, eyes still fixed ahead. He did, and this time she had it. He really wasn’t moving the rock so much as letting the Force change where it was. “Oh,” she breathed. 

His smile widened. “Got it?”

“I think so,” she said, still feeling along the patterns in the energy around them that he used to keep the rock above his hand.

“Okay, now you do it.” His fingers curled around the rock and he passed it to her. He unwrapped his arms from her, though he didn’t move away. 

She held the rock in front of her, its weight tipping her palm down. It wasn’t the weight that mattered though. She reached into the Force just like he had and the rock moved from her hand to several inches above it with almost no effort at all. She laughed, bright and brilliant. 

She twisted around to show Ben just as he leaned in to see, and her head hit his with a sickening crunch. “Ow!” she yelped, hand instinctively flying to cradle the back of her head. The rock fell to the bench and she felt something damp in her hair. “Shit!” She swung her legs around and turned quickly to see Ben, who had a hand cupped over his nose and watery eyes. “Fuck, are you okay?”

He moved his hand to answer, and blood dripped down from from his nose over his lips. “Shit!” she swore again.

He laughed through his hand, the sound uncomfortably wet. “Figures,” he said, voice strangled. “Nothing is ever simple with you.”

“You’re one to talk,” she muttered, trying to see how bad the damage was. She prodded his hand and he hissed, cupping it tighter, which only caused another wince of pain. 

“Don’t do that,” he said, turning slightly.

She followed him anxiously. “Is it broken?” 

“No. It’s fine.” She rolled her eyes. 

“There’s blood dripping off your chin,” she pointed out. His tongue darted out to the corner of his mouth, tasting it, and she grimaced in sympathy as he withdrew it quickly. 

“So there is.” He pinched his nose and leaned back to try to stop the bleeding, even as red trailed back over his cheeks. 

“I’m pretty sure that doesn’t help,” she told him. “The blood’s just going to go down your throat then.”

He made a face. “It already is. If I lean the other way, it’s just going to get everywhere.”

“Too late for that too,” she said as the blood trickled over his jaw and down his neck. He swiped at his cheek and scowled at his hand when it came back damp. 

“It’s fine,” he repeated. “It’ll stop eventually.”

She sighed. “Come on,” she said, standing. He looked at her suspiciously. 

“What?”

“We’ll go back to my place, get you cleaned up. At least get some paper towels or something.” She held out a hand to him, beckoning. 

“You don’t have to do that,” he mumbled. 

“Do you have somewhere closer you can go?” she said, arching an eyebrow.

“No, but --”

“Come on then,” she said again, watching him impatiently. She wasn’t in the habit of inviting people back to the apartment, but Ben had managed to prove he wasn't a complete lunatic. And this was her fault. 

“I don't want to intrude,” he said, voice he said, voice slightly strangled. 

She nearly laughed. That'd be new for him. “Let's go, Solo.” She turned and walked to the sidewalk, then stopped and waited for him. 

He hesitated on the bench, then followed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of my break from this was to finish up my fic for the [Reylo Charity Anthology](https://reylocharityanthology.tumblr.com/), if you haven't seen that around yet, definitely check them out! The deadline to donate and receive a copy of the anthology is coming up quickly, and there are so many amazing artists and writers involved. My fic ended up being a fluffy established relationship modern au with flowers and a little bit of angst and smut, and I'm very proud of it <3
> 
> And as always, I'm really excited to hear what you thought of this chapter! It's been so exciting to be able to talk with people about this.
> 
> the [tumblr link](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/179969741478/chapter-six-waning-crescent-ao3-ch-1-worm)


	7. Waning Crescent II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be out this weekend, so have a chapter! Another longer one too. Thank you again for all your feedback <3

Rey led them through the now mostly empty streets to her apartment, wondering if it was too much to hope that her roommates wouldn't be there to see her bringing in a bloody stranger. Red still trickled from under Ben's hand and seeped between his fingers. With a growl, he pulled it away and wiped it on his shirt across his stomach, and Rey winced at the mess of fresh and half-dried blood that revealed. With nothing else on hand, he pulled the collar of his shirt up and wiped some of the blood away, smearing more of it around when the shirt became soaked. He kept the shirt pulled up over his nose, which got them even stranger looks than before from the people they passed. At least his shirt was dark, so the blood wasn't as obvious.

Rey stopped in front of her building, tugging on Ben's shirt when he kept walking. “This is me.”

She took him up the stairs to her floor, digging her keys out, and then let them in. She breathed a sigh of relief when they found the main rooms of the apartment empty. Ben followed her in and over to the kitchen, looking carefully around as if trying to learn as much as he could from the generic mess of students living together.

Rey grabbed a handful of paper towels and shoved them under the sink, then handed the damp wad to him. “Here.”

He took it and pulled his shirt back down, revealing that the fabric had managed to smear the mess across the entire bottom half of his face, making it look like he’d torn into something’s bloody flesh with his teeth. Dragging the wet paper towels over it helped, but didn’t manage to get all of it. 

“Do you mind?” he asked, gesturing to the sink. She shook her head and stepped aside. Ben turned the water back on and then leaned over and dunked his entire face into it. He hissed at the pain, but eventually the water in the basin faded from red to clear. He stood back up, lifting the slightly cleaner bottom half of his shirt to dry himself off, even as water dripped down onto the already damp top half. 

“Do you want to rinse that off or something?” Rey asked, gesturing to the shirt and not looking at the pale flesh revealed where he pulled it up. 

He glanced at her then back down at the shirt and sighed. “That’d probably be good, yeah.” He shucked off his jacket, showing thickly muscled arms, and held it awkwardly in one hand until she took it and draped it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. “Thanks.” Without looking at her, he stripped off his shirt next, pulling from the back of his neck over and ruffling his hair, then turned and ran it under the sink. 

She stood and watched, brain slowly working to catch up with the rest of her. Everything about him was powerfully built. Muscles flexed in his back as he wrung the blood out of his shirt, and before he had turned away, she’d caught sight of the lines of his stomach. Who even had an eight-pack? She was plenty muscular on her own, from necessity more than anything, but the force that radiated off his form was unreal. As her senses gradually came back to her, she noticed more details: the dark moles dotted across his skin, his unusual paleness that reminded her of the moonlight they’d sat under, and the various scars marking him, from thin slashes curving around his side to a deep hole that looked like it could be a bullet wound in his shoulder. She wondered exactly what kind of life he had lived that had formed him into this. Several things screamed ‘mobster’ about him, and from what she knew of Snoke, that might not be far off. Her gaze trailed over his shoulders as he attempted to scrub the blood from his clothes. 

Steps padded on the floor behind her, then came to a sudden halt, but she had to drag her eyes away from Ben to see who it was. When she finally turned, Finn was behind her, looking more ashen than she’d ever seen him. She frowned, but before she could ask what was wrong, he croaked, “Rey, what is _Kylo Ren_ doing shirtless in our kitchen?”

She turned back to Ben, more confused than before. He’d stopped moving, every muscle in his back tight with tension. The water flowing into the sink was the only sound in the apartment. 

She looked back at Finn. “Who?”

Finn raised a finger, pointing directly at Ben, arm shaking slightly. “Kylo Ren. What is he doing here.”

Moving slowly and precisely, Ben reached up and turned off the faucet. Silence reigned.

“Ben?” Rey asked. His back somehow grew even tighter. He turned, dripping shirt in hand, and looked past her to Finn. Between the spots of dried blood still left on his face where he’d missed scrubbing them off, his steadily bruising nose, the water dripping off him, and the obvious strength of his body, his appearance fell somewhere in between bedraggled and intimidating. Across from him, Finn seemed to take his very presence as a threat.

Rey looked back and forth between the two of them. She couldn’t tell whether Ben recognized Finn or not, but his expression was resigned in a way she didn’t know how to interpret.

“Finn,” she said carefully, looking at her friend. “What’s wrong?”

He looked at her like she was insane. “What’s wrong? Do you have any idea who that is?”

Rey nodded slowly, though she felt previous doubts resurfacing from when he’d first shown up in the bar. “His name is Ben, he’s been helping me with some things.”

Finn looked past her at Ben, anger blazing in his eyes. “Oh, Ben, that’s what you’re calling yourself now? You fucking asshole, I’m not going to let you hurt her.” He stepped forward, hands curling into fists, but Rey stepped between them, arm outstretched. Finn looked as betrayed as if she’d stabbed him. 

“Do you know what he’s a part of? What he’s done?” he shouted, desperation a sharp note in his voice. 

Rey’s uneasiness increased. “He used to work for Snoke. He’s done with that now. Right?” She glanced back at Ben, who nodded. 

Finn drew back, obviously not expecting that to be her answer. His stance loosened, and he looked between Rey and Ben uncertainly. “That doesn’t - He spent years, working for Snoke as his top dog, the biggest threat around to get everyone into line. You don’t just walk away from that like it was nothing.” His voice trembled slightly, and Rey’s heart ached. 

“I know,” Ben said, watching Finn warily. His hands twitched, like he wanted to fist them, but he held himself back. 

“Then what are you doing here? What do you want?” Finn asked, tension clear in his tone. He kept his weight forward, on the balls of his feet, like he might run away or lunge for Ben at any moment. 

“Rey was telling the truth,” Ben said quietly, reluctantly. “She found me what I needed to get out from under Snoke, gave it back to me. She got involved because of me, and now I’m helping her figure out the Force to protect herself.”

“Oh, like you helped all those other people?” Finn’s anger came back all at once, and Rey took an involuntary step back. “You son of a bitch,” he swore, voice cracking.

Ben looked away for the first time since Finn had confronted him, dropping his gaze to the floor. His chest heaved as he worked through what he was trying to say. “I’m sorry,” he said finally. Finn froze. “I know that doesn’t change things, or fix them. But I am.”

“I --” Finn’s eyes flicked away. He swallowed. “I think you need to leave now.” 

Ben nodded. He looked at the still dripping shirt in his hand, then reached around Rey for his jacket from the chair. He pulled it on over his bare chest and zipped it enough to look presentable. He strode to the door, glancing back to Rey before leaving. “I’ll see you around,” he said, before opening the door and slipping out. 

Torn, Rey looked between Finn and the door. Finn stared after Ben, still shaken. “I’ll be right back,” she said quickly, then chased after Ben. 

His long legs took him down the stairs more quickly than she could match, but she caught up to him on the sidewalk. “Ben, wait!” she called. He stopped, though he didn’t look back. “Ben,” she said again, breathing a little more quickly. “What was that?”

He finally turned to face her, and his shoulders slumped. “Things catching up to me,” he muttered. “It was only a matter of time.”

Rey frowned. “What exactly did you do with Snoke? What did you do to Finn?”

He sighed and took a step back to lean against the wall of her building. “Guess we should have started with that history lesson after all,” he said wryly. 

“Guess so,” she said, joining him. 

Ben looked out at the street, hands shoved in his pockets, shirt slung over one arm. “The one thing Snoke wants more than anything else is control,” he started. Rey was tempted to ask which question that was answering, but decided to wait. “It’s one of the things that made it so easy to get to me when I was younger. Everything was too much, my connection to the Force was unpredictable and violent, and he offered a solution. Not control over anything then, just order. For things to make sense. So I gave myself to him. And it doesn’t matter that I was young or an idiot or if he tricked me or not, I’ve been stuck with him since.” He let out a shuddering breath, fighting against the past. 

“So that’s what he used me for,” he continued. “He wanted to control the Force itself, and started with everyone who could use it. He doesn’t care about the mundane, non-magical people yet, but that would have been next for him. He thought -- thinks that no one should be able to use the Force without his blessing. He sent me out to threaten anyone who didn’t agree into stepping back in line.”

“And Finn was one of those?” Rey asked when he stopped. 

Ben nodded jerkily. “He’d only just discovered his powers, a late bloomer, like you. You’d have to ask him more about that. But Snoke felt him drawing on the Force, using it for things he hadn’t allowed. He was recruited by some of the troopers, but then he got scared and disappeared. That’s why I remember him; Snoke doesn’t tend to let people go.”

Rey slumped back into the wall, staring sightlessly with Ben across the street. Barely anyone was still out, and the waning moon shone off the windows in the building opposite. She didn’t know what to say. 

“He’s right to be scared of me,” Ben said, before she figured something out. “I deserve much worse than that. I’ve hurt people much worse than what happened to him.”

Rey wished she didn’t have to hear this, that she could go back to what they’d had just a few hours ago, feeling the pure joy of new discovery between them. But she needed to know. “Like what?” she said, without emotion.

His breathing was harsh in the cool night air, and she started to think he wouldn’t answer. “I killed my own father,” he said finally, choking on the words. 

Her breath left her like it had been punched out of her. It took her several moments to regain it. “Did Snoke tell you to?”

“No, it -- it wasn’t like that.”

“Then what was it like?” Her tone was harsh, but she couldn’t help it. 

“He tried to save me,” he said, the words hanging in the empty street. “I know my mother has been keeping tabs on me, even though she knows she can’t do anything. But then he showed up at my door one night, telling me I needed to come back home. Tried to convince my that I didn’t need my skin, or anything else that Snoke had to offer me, that I could just -- leave. He was all human, he never really understood… but it doesn’t matter. I shut the door in his face.”

He paused again. “And then what?” Rey prompted.

“I thought he would leave,” Ben said, quieter than before. “Thought he’d just go home. I’ve been a lost cause for years, why would he think he could change that now? But he stayed, waited outside like he thought any minute I’d come down and run away with him.” Rey had turned towards him and her eyes were fixed on his face, twisted in pain. “Snoke sent out his enforcers, told them to take care of him for me. They beat him up, but left him on the edge of death and sent him back to my mother. He died on the way there.” Tears spilled over his cheeks and left gleaming tracks down his face. 

Rey’s breath was caught in her lungs. “If -- if you’d known what would happen. How it would end. Would you have helped him?”

“Yes.” The word was torn out of him. “We never got along, he never understood me, and I was angry at him for that for _years_. But I didn’t want him dead.”

Rey let out a shuddering breath. Out of all the things she imagined from Ben, this wasn't one of them. This wasn't the kind of thing she could offer empty assurances for, not that she was good at that anyway. Heart pounding, she reached out and lay a hand on his arm. He jerked and looked over at her, eyes red-rimmed and wild. “It doesn't change anything,” she said, echoing his words to Finn earlier. “But I think that counts for something.”

Ben looked down, not saying anything. Rey shifted restlessly on her feet and let her hand fall away from him. She wasn't qualified to handle her own emotions, let alone other people's. “I need to go check on Finn,” she said. He still didn't respond. “You know, make sure he doesn't want to kick me out. Do you have somewhere to go?”

He looked sharply over at her, finally meeting her eyes. “Would he do that?”

She shook her head quickly, even as her throat tightened. Logically, she knew he wouldn't; Finn was a good guy, and he and Rose had become her friends, something she'd never expected. But she'd never seen Finn react the way Ben had affected him, and the part of her that was used to being abandoned whispered its doubts. “No,” she said firmly. “But I should still get back.” He nodded, face cast down. “Do you have somewhere?” she asked again.

“Yeah. Don't worry about me,” he said, with something that wasn't quite a smile.

She frowned at him. “Okay. I'll see you soon?” His eyes widened as he looked at her.

“Yeah. I'll see you.” His lips turned up, nearly a real smile now.

She gave his arm a last awkward pat and then left him to go back inside. When she got back to the apartment, Finn was sitting on the couch, staring sightlessly across the room. She closed the door and walked over to sit next to him. He didn't seem to notice her.

“Do you want to talk?” she eventually offered.

He jumped at turned towards her. She wondered if he really hadn't noticed her come in. “What?”

“Do you want to talk about…any of it?” she asked, pulling her legs up on the couch and wrapping her arms around them.

Finn sighed and leaned back into the couch. “I don't know what to say.” He looked over at her. “Did he… tell you?”

“He said you got involved with Snoke and then got out,” she said bluntly.

“Yeah, that's about right,” he said with a sigh. “God, Rey, I've been waiting for one of them to track me down for _months_. Ever since Poe helped me get away. And then seeing Kylo Ren here…” He trailed off, blowing a breath out through his lips.

“That bad?” she asked weakly.

He shook his head. “Kylo Ren was like the bogeyman in the First Order. No one even knew what he was, but from the rumors you'd think he was some monster that would drink your blood like a vampire but could maul you like a wolf. It was anyone's worst nightmare to get on Snoke's bad side enough to have him sent after you.”

She took that in. “I really do think he's out,” she offered. “Snoke was holding something over him, and I got it back to him. He was scared of him too.”

It was Finn’s turn to consider. “Maybe,” he allowed. “It's not like I can blame him for that. But be careful, Rey. Even if half the rumors about what he did are true, he's still dangerous. And that doesn't just go away. I was barely a foot soldier, he was in the middle of it.”

She nodded. “I know. I'll watch out, I promise.”

He nodded back. “Okay.” He relaxed into the couch, breath leaving him in a sigh. “Do you want to make some ramen together and watch something? Where’s Rose?” Before Rey could answer, he yelled out, “Hey, Rose!” Rey winced and covered her ear nearest him. “Oh fuck, sorry,” he swore. 

She waved him away, smiling. It had taken a bit for her to get used to Rose and Finn’s habits, they’d both grown up with other people, while she was used to being left alone, but she’d started to appreciate them. “It’s fine,” she assured him. 

“You don’t have to work tonight, right?” he said, as a door opened down the hall and Rose came in and perched herself on the end of the couch. 

“What’s up?” she asked.

“No, I don’t,” Rey told Finn.

“Great,” he said, and looked around her to Rose. “We were thinking communal ramen and watching something, because it’s been a fucking day. You down?”

“Sure,” she agreed. “I need to take a break from thermo homework before I brain someone with the textbook.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Finn said. “Do you want to get the food, and we’ll get the entertainment?”

“Please. Both of you are still banned from shared cooking until you learn the appropriate use of the flavor packs. And the stove.” She turned for the kitchen, shaking her head.

“Mine was better than Rey’s!” he shouted after her.

“Traitor,” Rey muttered. She let him have it though. He grinned at her, though Rey could still see the way he nervously glanced at the door every so often. He needed a distraction, and Rey could use one too. She nestled into the couch while Finn went to get his laptop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are coming out again...Thoughts? :D


	8. Waning Crescent III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Been a rough time at work lately. Shorter chapter this time but should update quicker!

At her next shift at Maz’s, it took her until after she’d clocked in and served a few tables before she noticed the lurking presence in the corner. She dropped another order off and then walked over to the shadowy table where Ben Solo was hunched over. 

“We really need to figure out a better way to meet up than you showing up at my jobs,” she said dryly. 

He blinked at her, as if surprised she was talking to him. “You’re not supposed to notice me,” he told her, smiling.

She cocked her head. “I don’t think that makes this any better. It does explain why you’re back though; I didn’t think you’d come here again after last time.” Her lips buzzed thinking how they had left that time and she bit them. “Does sulking usually get people to not notice you?”

He snorted. “Most people don’t like bothering the big angry man, no, but I’ve been sending people off through the Force as well. It relies on them not looking too hard or noticing me though.”

“So it’s harder to get rid of someone trying to find you then,” she said, hand on a hip.

“Yeah.” He looked up at her from under his curtain of dark hair. “Were you? Looking for me?”

She opened her mouth to deny it, but then realized that some part of her had half expected to find him waiting for her at some point in her daily routine. “You did say you’d see me again,” she said instead. 

He smiled. “True.” 

He didn’t elaborate, and she looked at him quizzically. “Why are you here? If someone could still track you down.”

He shrugged, looking away. “I didn’t get around to showing you what you can do to protect yourself yet. If someone did show up, better me than you.”

“I’ve managed to take care of myself this far,” she said, with a touch of annoyance. “And if something came in that I couldn’t handle, I’m willing to bet Maz could.”

Ben looked over at the bar, where the wizened old owner was observing the crowd. “True,” he allowed. “That old witch has seen more than most people.”

Rey’s eyes widened. “Is she actually a witch?”

He made an indecisive sort of noise. “You’d have to ask her, but don’t expect a straight answer. She doesn’t do those.”

“I wonder what that’s like,” Rey said with a snort.

He had the grace to look abashed. “I did try,” he defended. “But I’ve really never had to do this before.”

“Yeah, I bet,” she said, thinking back to Finn. 

He winced and looked away. “Yeah.” He glanced back up at her. “I am glad for him, your friend, that he got out. He’s stronger than I was,” he said bitterly. 

Rey pressed her lips together, unsure how to answer that. “I don’t think that’s true,” she settled on. “You still left.”

His mouth moved in that odd sort of pout he had, lips pursing. “Not soon enough,” he said quietly.

“Maybe not. But I'm sure Finn feels that way too. Maybe someday you guys could talk about things.”

“Maybe,” he said, sounding unconvinced.

She watched as he traced patterns on the somewhat sticky table. “I have to get back to work.”

He nodded. “Probably better if you don’t stay back here too long.”

“Are you planning on staying here?” she asked, brow arched.

He met her look with wide eyes. “No, I mean - I can go. If you want.”

She considered him. “As long as you’re not hanging around to protect my honor or some shit. You can stay. Do you want something to drink?”

“Just a soda. Thank you.” She gave him a nod and continued on her rounds. 

It was still early in the week, and the crowds weren’t too bad. A table of construction workers was hitting the bar impressively hard for a work night, but besides them, the other customers were easy enough to deal with. She stopped back at Ben’s table with his soda in the next lull she got. 

“Thanks,” he said, hand wrapping around the cool glass. 

“No problem. Are you just going to sit here all night?”

He raised a shoulder noncommittally. “Don’t have anything better to do.”

She gave him a look, torn between pity and disbelief. “You need a hobby. Or a job.”

He smiled wryly. “Probably,” he agreed. “Haven’t had time for the first, and just lost the second. It’s a work in progress.”

“Fair,” she said, conceding the point. 

She went back to the bar and picked up another order from Maz, sneaking looks back at Ben every so often as she worked her shift. He slowly nursed his soda, gaze traveling from her to each of the other customers, as if evaluating them. When he emptied it, she circled back around to his table.

“Another?” she asked, tapping the glass.

“Please.”

When she brought him his refill, she said, “You do know I work until closing, right?”

He blinked. “When’s that?”

“One, tonight.”

“And you walk home?” She wasn’t sure if it was disbelief or disapproval in his voice, but she didn’t like it.

She pointed a finger at him. “Still don’t need you to protect me.”

“I know, but -” he tried.

“Nope.” She went back to her other tables.

She waited a little longer to check on him this time, though he drained his soda almost immediately. “Have you gotten over the knight in shining armor routine yet? Or prince, I guess, since you have that whole engagement fantasy going on.”

“It’s a ritual marriage --”

“That’s not better,” she interrupted.

He didn’t quite glare, but it was close. “And it’s not about that. It’s about the fact that no one should be walking around here alone in the middle of the night.”

“Says Snoke’s former hitman,” she pointed out. “I should probably be more worried about you than anything else.”

“That’s the point,” he argued, leaning across the table. “I know what’s out there.”

She waved that away. “It’s nothing that hasn’t been out there before.”

“Yes, but now it might be interested in you,” he said, eyes intent on hers.

She growled. “Look, you can’t stalk me twenty four-seven because there’s a chance your old boss might find me. That’s not happening.”

He sat back in his seat. “I know.”

“Do you?” she asked, genuinely curious.

“Yes.” He paused. “I’m working on it.”

She sighed. “Ben…”

He looked away, hand wrapping around the edge of the table. “Can I at least walk you home? I’ll leave now, I promise, but just let me do that.”

“Shouldn’t you be worrying more about yourself?” she said, shaking her head.

“I’ve dealt with everything Snoke has had to throw at me before,” he said grimly. His tone implied plenty to her imagination. “And that’s why I’m worried.”

She looked at him carefully. She should really send him on his way, find another way to do their lessons. She didn’t need to get in the habit of relying on him for anything. But walking her home was simple enough. Friends did that. “Fine. But I don’t want to see you back here before closing.”

He nodded and stood. “Okay.” Reaching into a pocket, he pulled out a wallet and handed her a twenty, more than enough for the soda and a tip.

“One second, I’ll go make change,” she said, turning, but he shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll meet you at one?”

“Two, I have to close,” she corrected, and he nodded. 

“See you then.” With his hands shoved in his pockets, he headed out the door. No one else seemed to notice him leave, but then Rey glanced back at the bar and saw Maz watching her speculatively. She hurried back to help with the drinks.

“That Solo boy,” the owner said, shaking her head.

Rey’s heart leaped. “You know him?” she asked. She’d gotten the impression that Ben and Maz knew of each other, but not personally. 

Maz waved a hand in the air. “Know? What is there to know? It’s all the same, every time. Nothing new. That one is just like his father, has a good heart, but too stupid to listen to it.” She looked at Rey pointedly through her thick glasses. “Don’t let him intimidate you, you hear? Boy’s gotten away with that for much too long.”

Rey nodded. “I won’t.” She was dying to ask more, but Maz was clearly done with explaining things. 

“Good,” she said with finality. “Now hand me that brandy.”

True to his word, she didn’t see any sign of Ben around the rest of the night, even when she went outside for her break. She helped Maz close and clean up, then slipped out the back door with her jacket and bag. Unsurprisingly, Ben was waiting there for her. She started walking, and he fell into step beside her.

“You haven’t been out here the whole time, right?” she asked. 

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I went for a walk.”

She cast a doubtful look up at him. “For the whole time?”

“More or less,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. 

She decided not to press it. It wasn’t any of her business what he did all night any more than it was his to know what she did. They continued walking in silence. Rey looked over at Ben, who glared ahead at nothing in particular. He looked even paler in the moonlight than he did in the ruddy light of the bar, as if this was his usual habitat. In the sky above them, the moon was more empty than full, a thin sliver hanging high. 

“Does that mean it’s harder for you to do magic?” she said, gesturing upwards.

She saw him wince at her phrasing as he followed her gaze. “It’s harder to connect to the Force, yes.”

“For anyone? Or just people like selkies?”

“For most creatures, but not all. What about you? You should be able to feel it, is it any weaker now?” he asked, glancing over at her curiously. 

She considered, slowing her pace to focus on drawing on the energy he’d showed her. It leaped to her senses just as easily as it had before, no dimness or difficulty. “I don’t think so.” He hummed in answer. “What does that mean?”

“That you’re not a selkie,” he said, flashing her a brief smile. “Or a vampire, or werewolf, or a few other things. Likely you’re just gifted, someone with the ability to sense and connect to the Force. A witch, if you want to use that terminology, although there are different communities that prefer different names.”

“Really? What kind?” she asked eagerly.

He hesitated. “There...aren’t many around here. Some of them have scattered, or relocated.”

“Snoke,” she said dully. 

He nodded. “Snoke.”

“How long has it been like that?” Surely it couldn’t have been that long.

“Snoke...picked up from the pieces of another person who did the same things before him. It’s complicated,” Ben said pausing over the words, as if working out how best to explain it. 

She frowned. “I really hate it when you say that.”

“I know,” he said, grimacing. “And I will explain everything you want to know eventually, it just might take a while. There’s a lot of history, and we’re already here.”

He was right, her block was just ahead of them. She reluctantly agreed to let the topic go for the night. “We should make plans, some that don’t involve you following me to work.”

He handed her a napkin that looked like he’d taken it from the bar with an address scrawled on it in pen. “I found a new place, just for now.”

She read the address and nodded. “That’s not far. I can come over Saturday, between shifts?”

“I’ll be there,” he said. She was ready to head into her building, but he shifted on the sidewalk, clearly working up to something else. “I know you don’t need it,” he began, and she tensed. “But if I could, I’d like to keep walking you home after you get off at the bar.”

She stared at him, lips twitching as she thought. “Okay,” she agreed finally, and his shoulders relaxed in relief. “But seriously, you don’t need to be hanging around for my entire shift.” 

“I won’t,” he promised. “I’ll see you Saturday then?”

“See you then,” she agreed, and went inside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts and comments always appreciated! <3


	9. New Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh, I'm pretty sure November dropped out of the flow of time for me.
> 
> Goal for the new year: less apologizing, more writing.
> 
> As always, thank you for your feedback despite the sporadic updates! I keep saying it, but it really means a lot.

The weekend brought a rough day at the garage, with Teedo somehow even more irritable than usual. She kept her head down and finished her work as quickly as she could. Even then, he tried to keep her from leaving, claiming she was cheating him on her hours, but she finally escaped. She only had a couple hours before she had to be at the bar, and she found herself actually eager to spend time with Ben. She’d tried sensing the Force on her own, but she didn’t know how to use it like he did, and any research she’d tried only ended in conspiracy theories and fairy tales. 

He’d shown up after her shift at the bar each night that week, never coming in, just waiting for her to come out. There wasn’t enough time in the walk back for them to practice much, but they talked, and she slowly learned more about the world she’d inadvertently stepped into. Ben was eager to tell her about the history of the Force and to teach her about the different creatures influenced by it. When it came to the First Order and his own past, he was more reluctant, but his unshakeable idea that he needed to protect her usually overcame his guilt. 

His new apartment was several blocks away from his old one, in a different direction from her apartment, but not any further. She walked over as soon as she got free of Teedo and found herself outside an apartment building that looked to be mostly rented by students. She climbed the stairs to the apartment number he’d given her and knocked on the door. This building looked more rundown than his last one, with more scuffs and dents along the hallway, but at the same time more welcoming. A rug sat outside the door, and she stared at it until the door swung open in front of her. 

It wasn’t Ben. The man who stood in the doorway was several inches shorter and much slimmer. She blinked. “I think I have the wrong apartment -” she started, but then the sound of heavy footsteps came from inside the apartment and Ben appeared behind the other man. 

“Oh, Ben, is this - ?” the stranger started, but Ben pulled the door open further around him, moving him out of the way. 

“Yes, thank you, Mitaka,” Ben said, irritation and dismissal clear in his voice. “Rey, come on.” She walked into the apartment, smiling awkwardly at the other man as she passed. 

“Hello-” he tried again, but Ben kept walking, and Rey followed him. He led her down a short hall and into a small bedroom at the end, cramped with a bed and a cheap desk. 

“You have a roommate?” she blurted out as soon as he’d closed the door behind them. 

Ben scowled. “As it turns out, it’s difficult to find a cheap apartment on short notice around here. Mitaka had a roommate drop out at the beginning of the semester, and he was desperate enough to take me.”

“You didn’t have anything to do with his roommate dropping, did you?” she asked, only half-joking. 

He rolled his eyes. “No. If I was going to go that far, I could have found a better place.”

She glanced around the room and had to admit he had a point. The space wasn’t worth getting rid of someone else for. “So why move here at all then?”

He grimaced. “Snoke controlled every part of my life, including where I lived. I left that apartment the night you returned my skin to me.”

“Oh,” she said. It explained why he’d carried his coat with him for days after as well. 

“Yes. This at least has the advantage of being one of the last places Snoke would expect to find me,” he said with a touch of dry humor. 

“I can imagine,” she muttered. Ben had yet to strike her as someone who enjoyed being in close quarters with lots of people.

He sat on the bed and smiled humorously at her. “Sit down,” he offered. 

She cast a doubtful glance at the single rickety desk chair and decided against it. “So what are we doing tonight?” she asked, sitting next to him on the bed. 

“Well, it’s the new moon tonight, so I’m not going to be much use for showing you anything new.” Rey glanced out the window behind them, but the sun still sat low on the horizon. “So I thought we’d stick with the first lesson, but move to something bigger.”

“Bigger?” she said, glancing around.

“Yes.” He looked pointedly down at the bed.

“Oh!” She followed his look dubiously. “How do you do that?”

“The same way you did with the rock,” he said easily. “The actual method isn’t any different. It’s just a matter of getting your head around it, in a manner of speaking.”

“Okay,” she said, drawing the word out. 

“Here.” He stood from the bed and turned to sit on the floor against the wall, facing her. He patted the spot next to him, and she followed. “Do you remember how you connected with the Force?” She nodded. “Let’s start there.”

He closed his eyes and rested his hands on his folded legs. She breathed in deeply and copied him. When she spread out her senses through the Force, she understood what he meant by being affected by the moon. His presence burned as brightly as it had before, all anger and leashed power, but it was like it had been tamped down, the ashes of a bonfire just waiting for a gust of wind to flare them back into full force. Everything sprang to her touch just as easily as it had before though. It was almost overwhelming, being in the middle of the press of so many lives. Young people went about their evenings around them, surrounded by the homes they’d made for themselves.

“Focus,” Ben instructed, voice gentle. “Let everything else become background. Breath in, and then let it all out.”

She listened, filling her lungs with a deep breath and then exhaling slowly, letting everything she didn’t need fade away with it. Everything was still there, part of the Force she was connected to, but she let it fall into the back of her mind. Her senses brushed against Ben again, briefly tempted to push further. She’d learned more about him, but so much of him was still a mystery to her. She let him pass by too, in order to concentrate on her task. 

At first, she struggled with the same thing she had before. The bed didn’t have a signature like the life around her did. It took a moment to find the edges of it. She held onto the shape of it and tried to lift in within the Force. It wiggled, but didn’t lift. She breathed past her frustration. 

“There you go,” Ben said next to her. “Much better instincts than me.”

She snorted, nearly losing her concentration, and shoved her shoulder into his. She felt his quiet laughter and smiled as she turned back to the bed. 

He’d said it was the same as the rock. She needed to let go of the size of it and focus only on the Force. With even breaths, she tried again, letting the Force flow through her. The bed bumped against the wall, rattling but not lifting. She almost had it, she could feel it. It was just a different movement. She pulled further on the Force, drawing on the energy all around her. Another breath, and then - 

It still scraped the wall a bit as it rose, but it did rise, above the frame and halfway up the window. At the same time, the overhead light crackled and then died. A sudden silence fell over the apartment as the hum of various electronics all stopped at once. 

“Ben?” Mitaka called from the main room.

The bed fell back down with a thump. Rey didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or laugh and ended up doing both. Ben joined her from next to her with a deep but rusty chuckle. 

“You really do have a way of keeping things interesting,” he said, still laughing. 

“Does this usually happen?” she asked with a grin.

He cocked his head, smiling. “It can. The problem with the Force connecting everything is that it connects _everything_. I’m starting to realize why my lessons were held out away from anything else.”

She shrugged. “Got to make due with what we have.”

“True,” he said mock-solemnly. “The rest of the building is going to have to get used to some eccentricities with the power.”

She frowned playfully at him. “Maybe next time we try outside again. I already feel bad for Mitaka, let alone everyone else.”

“Or we could do that,” he agreed. She stood, and he copied her. “Do you have to leave for work already?”

“I should probably get going sooner rather than later,” she replied, reluctant to go.

“Okay,” he said, humor fading. “I’ll see you after then?”

She scrunched her face. “If you want to go out that late. We stay open longer on the weekends.”

“It’s no problem. I’ll be there,” he assured her quickly. She wasn’t entirely surprised, but it sent an unexpected thread of warmth through her.

“I guess we’ll figure out something then?” she offered.

“I look forward to it.” He opened the door and led her out to the front door of the apartment. Mitaka sat in the living area, working on a laptop.

“Oh, you’re leaving already?” he asked Rey, eyes darting over to Ben. 

Ben scowled and opened his mouth to respond, but Rey beat him to it. “Yeah, have to get to work.”

Mitaka nodded. “Cool, cool. Did you guys notice that weird power blip? What was that?”

“The power went out?” Ben said blandly, opening the door for Rey. “Odd. Didn’t notice.”

Rey rolled her eyes at him. “See you later,” she told him, and walked back down the hallway.

-

Rey's schedule didn't leave a lot of extra time for magic lessons, but she and Ben managed to work out that he'd meet her after class a couple nights and for a little longer on Sunday afternoons. He took her to a secluded area in a small park on her day off, finding them a bench behind some hedges and under a tree, facing away from the path. The sun shone beyond their shade over the spit of grass surrounded by buildings, and families, couples, and teenagers wandered around in the hours before evening. No one paid them much attention, and with a jolt Rey realized why. The way they huddled secretly together out of the way painted a clear picture for passerby. She flushed and turned towards Ben, blocking out the rest of the park. 

“Isn’t this a little public?” she pointed out, gesturing around them. 

“That’s the point,” he said, turning so that they faced each other, one long leg folded on the seat, the other resting on the ground. “We’re going to work on control. And we’re still hidden enough to have plausible deniability if anything goes really wrong.”

She snorted. “That’s reassuring. What do you mean, control?”

“You’re going to practice lifting things until you can do it without knocking out a city block.” He spoke with a straight face, but his lips twitched at the corners. 

She kicked his leg lightly. “I’m pretty sure the blame for that is completely on my teacher, not me.”

“Maybe,” he granted, a smile teasing his features. “All the same. Practice.”

“Okay,” she said, setting her shoulders. She looked around. “What am I supposed to be moving now? The trees? I’m thinking someone might notice.”

He shook his head. “No, we’re going to go the other way this time.” He shifted to face a little more outward. “Watch.”

With an outstretched hand, he made a grasping motion in the air, then traced lazy patterns back and forth. Rey watched, confused, then looked beyond him to see what he was doing. It took her a second to notice the single leaf floating around with the same motions he made. 

“Oh!” He flashed her a brief smile when she caught on, then made the leaf do a couple more loops through the air before setting it down on the ground. 

“Got it?” he asked, looking back at her.

“I think so.” She lifted her head up to the tree and set to work on her own leaf. 

She quickly understood what he meant by “control”. It was a different thing, moving a paper-thin leaf that was just as likely to be dislodged by a breeze as by her efforts.

“You’re a natural,” he praised, when she’d mastered that. “I’m not going to tell you how long I had to work at this.”

She twirled the leaf through the air, letting it dance. “How old were you when you were learning this?”

“I don’t know,” he said, after a moment. “Less than ten probably. I don’t remember those days very well. But control in general, it’s been...an ongoing process.” She nodded, not answering. He sat up further, shaking off the remnants of old memories. “Now let’s try two.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Tumblr. I'll be around there occasionally, but I'm pretty done with dealing with them. 
> 
> You can also find me on [twitter as briartrash](https://twitter.com/briartrash/status/1075177132639293440), [pillowfort as thelastjedi](https://www.pillowfort.io/posts/306779), and, for now, [tumblr as thewayofthetrashcompactor](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/181230358458/chapter-nine-new-moon-ao3-ch-1-worm-moon-ch) (and reblogs/tweets/comments/etc are much appreciated as fandom finds its footing again, but no pressure!)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	10. Waxing Crescent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update!

Later in the week, after her classes, he took her along the river walk, the slowly growing moon reflecting off the water. They sat on the edge of the concrete, legs dangling over the river just below. Rey wondered what it would be like to push off the sidewalk and slip in. The silvery moonlight hid the murkiness that was clear during the day, making it seem much more tempting. Next to her, Ben stared down at the water with a mix of emotions she wasn’t sure how to decipher. 

“This was one of the reasons I decided to stop here,” she said aloud, not sure if it was meant to be towards Ben or not. 

His head jerked up to look at her. “What?”

“The river,” she explained, pointing a foot at it. “I grew up in the desert. When I left, I wanted to see water, find anywhere green. I didn’t make it all the way to the ocean, but I liked the river. So I stopped here.”

He watched her with sad eyes, lips pressing before settling in a frown. “What?” she asked defensively. 

“Nothing, it’s just --” He sighed. “Being here, with this as the only water around -- it was one of Snoke’s ways to control me.”

She looked back to the water, feeling oddly defensive. “What’s wrong with it?”

He raised a brow at her. “Rey, it’s not been that long since you could drop a match in this river and set it on fire. That happened, more than once. There’s laws and agencies now, but there’s also people like Snoke around to find their own shortcuts. Even when things do get better, the damage lingers. It feels...sick.”

Frowning, Rey reached out with a force over the river, trying to see what he meant. Nothing jumped out to her. She was used to feeling the city and people sinking their roots into everything around, and the river felt like an extension of that, not much different from the pipes running under every street. 

She shook her head. “I can’t tell.”

He slumped further. “Most people can’t,” he muttered. Her chest panged in sympathy. 

“Is it a selkie thing?” she asked.

“Probably. That would make sense.” He sighed. “It’s not like it should matter either way. I couldn’t change in freshwater anyway.”

“You’re a long way from home,” she said before she could think. It would take days just to drive to the ocean from here.

He swallowed, throat working before he spoke. “I guess.” He breathed out slowly, in a way that reminded her of how he prepared to sink into the Force. She waited for him, watching out of the corner of her eye. After several breaths, he straightened. “Since we’re here, why don’t we see what you can do with the river.”

He coached her through pulling a ball of water from below them, though conspicuously absent from this lesson was his usual demonstrations. She wondered what exactly the river felt like to him, that he didn’t want to touch it. He was taking her through manipulating the water in the air when her stomach growled loudly enough to startle them both. She winced, hand coming up to cover it as if that would quiet it. She’d almost forgotten that she hadn’t had anything since the peanut butter on white bread she’d packed for her lunch. Usually she could grab a couple crackers later, but meeting with Ben had thrown that off.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. 

“Break?” he suggested, looking at her with concern. 

She shook her head. “I’m fine. I’ve almost got this.”

He didn’t look convinced, but let it go for the moment. She wasn’t fooled, however, when in the midst of their wanderings the next time they met, they happened to pass by a still open fast food joint. He mumbled something about forgetting supper and how it was impossible to find anything in the city before shoving open the door and gesturing her inside in front of him. 

“Do you want anything?” he asked as they stood in front of the counter. 

“No,” she said firmly, even as her stomach grumbled at the smell of warm food. 

He nodded and didn’t press it, but then proceeded to order more than enough for two people. When his order was called, he took the bags from the strung out teenager at the end of the counter and swept back out of the store, leaving the flourescent lights for the dimly lit streets. The moon above them had started to fill out again, stuck midway between empty and full. 

He ate as they walked, inspecting each item of food critically, but still shoveling it down quickly enough that Rey started to think he’d really just been hungry after all. But once he had eaten, he held a bag out to her, gesturing innocently. “Are you sure you don’t want anything? I think I got too much.”

She snorted. “Smooth,” she told him.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he said, frowning at another fry before apparently finding it acceptable enough to eat. “I just have extra food and thought you might want some.”

“We're not actually married. You don't have to take care of me,” she said, crossing her arms. 

“Debatable, and again, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She didn’t answer, scowling ahead of them. He sighed. “Look, I really did get too much. If you don’t want it, I’m just going to throw it away.”

She kept ignoring him. His hand fell back to his side with the bag. “Fine. I’ll toss it then.”

She debated with herself furiously before growling and snatching the paper bag from him. “You’re insufferable,” she said before stuffing several fries in her mouth at once. 

“Understood,” he said blandly. She very much doubted that he meant it. 

She swallowed her half-chewed mouthful. “How did you even pay for this? Did you finally get a real job?”

He flashed her a smirk. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

She rolled her eyes.

Despite her protestations, stopping for food became a part of their habits together, along with wandering the streets for less conspicuous places to practice with her powers, though she still refused to let him buy things for her outright. Together they found parts of the city Rey had never seen before - not through any particular knowledge of Ben's; his strategy remained to wander the streets until they found a likely looking place. They kept moving around to avoid a series of unusual power outages or sightings of strange lights in any particular place. Rey's power didn't usually get the better of her, especially with Ben there to balance her out, but when it did, it tended towards the spectacular. It was best for them to stay on the move. 

They started small, working with Rey's grasp on the Force until it became instinct for her. He finally allowed that it was time for them to move on from lifting things when she used the Force to pelt his head with pebbles. She continued to grasp the basics quickly, though she didn't always get the theory behind things, no matter how many times Ben explained, but the Force leapt to her hands like it was meant to be there.

Another night they found themselves in a wide alley, leaning against the brick wall together. The ground was still damp from the rain earlier, and fewer people than usual were out because of it. Ben had promised to show her how to start fires, something she’d been desperately curious about since he’d first shown her, and she was determined despite the weather. 

“You’re not a magician,” he instructed, impatient but amused. “This isn’t making something appear out of nothing. All the fuel you need is around you.”

“Around me is a lot of water,” she said, kicking the puddle in front of them. 

“We’re not using that,” he said. “But it shouldn’t stop you either. The air is fuel, fire wants to burn. All it needs is the spark.” He held out a hand and a small flame appeared there with barely an effort on his part. 

She held out a hand too, but all she could feel was the dampness lingering in the air, waiting to condense and fall down again. “Just a spark,” she muttered, glaring down.

“Use me,” he suggested, leaning towards her. 

She looked up at him. “What?”

“That spark, it comes easily to me, more than more people. Pull that from me and use it.”

“I need to be able to do it on my own,” she said, lips pursing. 

“You will,” he promised. “This is just for the first time. I’m supposed to be the teacher after all.”

She considered, then agreed. He shifted even closer to her until their arms pressed together, warmth blooming between them. Feeling that, it made sense what he was suggesting. She’d been cold ever since arriving in this city, but Ben brimmed over with heat. He reached out to her through the Force and she met him halfway, energy eagerly bridging the gap between them, almost without her having to think. Connected to him, his mind brushing up against hers, she pulled on his energy for the spark she needed and pushed it into the space in front of her, encouraging it to catch and grow. 

With a sudden whoosh, a huge fire bloomed in front of her, growing from a flicker to a massive ball taking up most of the alley in an instant. The brightness whited out her vision while her skin flushed red under the heat.

“Shit!” she shouted, pressing herself against the wall. Ben’s hand grabbed for her, landing around her arm. He yanked her further down the alley and she stumbled after him. Their eyes stayed fix on the giant flame as it crackled hungrily, then collapsed as soon as it had appeared. They stared, blinking.

A light came on in one of the windows above them along with the unmistakable sound of a pane being drawn up. “What’s going on down there?” an angry voice called down.

Rey glanced quickly up then over Ben. “Run?” she suggested breathlessly.

“Yes,” he agreed, and she took off down the street with him close behind her. 

She ran randomly, taking them across several blocks before finally slowing and then stopping, leaning over with her hands on her knees. Ben pounded to a stop next to her, panting for breath. 

“Don’t you say anything,” she gasped.

He grinned. “I wasn’t going to.”

She stood, narrowing her eyes at him. “You know, I’m pretty sure this one is your fault again.”

“I was just the source, you started the fire,” he said, holding his hands up.

She shook her head. “I can see why you like doing that,” she said, remembering the rush that ran through her as the fire had ignited.

“It’s dangerous,” he agreed. “Do you want to try again, or is that enough excitement for one night?”

“Try again,” she said quickly. “You aren’t scaring me off that easily.”

He smiled down at her, oddly affectionate. “I don’t think I could scare you off if I tried,” he told her, then turned away before she could think too much about that look with those words. “Come on, let’s try up here,” he said, walking ahead.

By the end of the night, she’d managed to create a more manageable flame, though she still felt like she was pulling off of Ben. She climbed the stairs up to her apartment, still grinning. Rose sat in the kitchen and looked up at her as she came in.

“Good night?” she asked, grinning back at Rey.

“Yeah,” Rey agreed, surprising herself.

“Hot date?” Rose waggled her eyebrows.

Rey turned quickly. “What?” 

Finn poked his head out of his room. “What’s going on? Oh, Rey, you’re back.”

“Rey had a hot date,” Rose told him before Rey could answer.

“No, I - “ she protested.

Finn looked at her. “Kylo?” he asked warily. 

“Ben,” she said. Finn watched her for a moment, then nodded. 

“Everything...okay?”

She nodded back. “Yeah. It’s good.”

“Good,” he said, and it sounded like he meant it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on [twitter as briartrash](https://twitter.com/briartrash/status/1076586078885302272), [pillowfort as thelastjedi](https://www.pillowfort.io/posts/338476), and [tumblr as thewayofthetrashcompactor](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/181329425098/chapter-ten-waxing-crescent-ao3-ch-1-worm) (reblogs/tweets/comments/etc are much appreciated, but no pressure!)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	11. Sap Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end keeps getting closer...

Rey found herself unconsciously looking forward to the next full moon, wondering what it would mean for Ben and their lessons. When the night came, however, he was unusually quiet. They walked for longer than normal, until they finally ended up by the river again. Ben stopped suddenly and sat on the ground. Rey stood, nonplussed, before bending over and joining him. 

His gaze wasn’t on the water. Instead, he looked up, at the moon hanging heavy above them. In its fullness, it looked even larger than normal and shone bright enough that it barely seemed like the middle of the night. They sat together, the sounds of the city behind them and the gentle lapping of the water ahead. 

“I had an aunt when I was growing up,” he said suddenly, and she jerked her head to look at him. He continued, still staring off into the distance. “A close family friend technically. There were a few of those around.” Rey couldn't help a stab of jealousy, but she didn’t say anything. “She was - is - one of the fae. In tune with nature and all that, but what she was really into was stars. She used to take me out at night sometimes and tell me stories, about all the constellations and the heroes that ended up there.” He paused. “Looking back, she was probably trying to teach me that I couldn’t force the entire universe to fit how I needed it to.” He snorted. “You see how well that turned out.”

He hesitated again, face creasing as he worked through his thoughts. Rey had the sense that this was something deeply personal for him and almost looked away to give him some semblance of privacy, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the emotions passing over his expressive features. “I haven’t thought about her for a while. Tried not to. She was close with my mom, and…” He trailed off, face finally turning away. Rey thought about the woman she’d heard on the other end of the phone and her chest ached. 

He breathed deeply, then rolled his shoulders and fixed his eyes back on the sky. “The moon was important to her too, even if she wasn’t connected to it in the same way my mom was. She had a pattern for things. The new moon was birth, new beginnings. A clean slate. And as it waxes, it’s a time for growth, to set your sights and take action. Then, at the full moon, when everything is at its height, you’re supposed to let it all go. Let old things die.” He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “If you can imagine, I was never much good at that.”

She smiled weakly. “I’m not either,” she offered. 

His hand shifted on the ground between them, turning just enough that it brushed hers. She welcomed the contact and spread her fingers against his. He breathed out shakily. “And then as it wanes, you clear out your life. Prepare to start things all over again,” he concluded. 

Silence fell between them as she thought that over. “That sounds nice,” she said eventually. “Making time to let go and move on. She sounds like a smart woman.”

“She was. My mom used to say that you don't live that long without picking up a couple things.”

They fell quiet again. 

“Do you… miss them? Your family?” Rey asked softly.

He bowed his head and she thought he might not answer. Then he sighed. “Snoke didn't leave a lot of time for reminiscing,” he said bitterly. “When I first went to him, I thought he was the best option. Well, it felt like my only option at that point. By the time I started to have doubts, it was far too late to turn back. I didn't see a way out. And I've always been too stubborn for my own good.”

“I noticed,” Rey said, smiling despite the lump in her throat. “I'm not much better.”

He acknowledged her sympathy with a brief thankful glance. “So it felt like I was stuck there. And there was no point in thinking about what I couldn't have. My family, my home, such as it was, all of it. I let it die. Or tried to. And now that I'm not trapped under Snoke anymore --” He stared out at the water. “I don't know. I can't go back like the past decade hasn't happened. And I have no idea what to do with the future.”

“Do you want to go back?” she asked, cocking her head at him.

“Maybe,” he said, dodging the question. “If nothing else, I want to see the ocean again. Swim in it.” He expression twisted in longing. “I think I missed that the most. It's like being torn apart, not having that part of me.” He looked over at her. “You never did make it to the ocean, did you?”

“No,” she admitted. “I still want to. Someday.” 

“I'd take you there,” he said quietly, and her eyes met his in shock. He looked at her intently, with a bone-deep seriousness she didn't know how to handle. She turned back to the river. 

“What's it like?” she asked, not acknowledging his offer.

He turned as well, frowning as he thought. “It's… big. Bigger than you think. You can swim and swim and never reach the horizon. And everything about it is alive, from the waves and tide pools on the shore to the endless stretches in between. It's unpredictable, but you can learn to understand it, even though it's constantly changing. But then so much of it is the same, for thousands and thousands of years. It's… hard to explain.” He'd gotten more animated as he spoke, but then trailed off at the end, deflating. 

“It sounds wonderful,” she said wistfully. “It's hard to imagine what it's like, that much water all in one place.”

“I could show you,” he blurted.

She looked over at him. “What?”

“I could share my memories with you. If you wanted.”

She sat bolt upright. “Really?’

“You'd have to let me into your head,” he warned. He sat forward too, eager but wary.

“Is it dangerous?” she asked with hesitation.

“It can be. But I promise I won't hurt you. You'd have to trust me.” He spoke with precision, eyes meeting hers seriously.

She paused. Did she trust him? The answer came to her almost without thinking, surprising her. But it felt right. If he was going to lie to her or hurt her, he'd had more than enough opportunities by now. She nodded. “Show me,” she told him.

His eyes widened, like he'd expected her to reject him. “Face me,” he said, crossing his legs on the ground so he was fully turned towards her. She did so, copying his posture. He leaned in, reaching a hand out to cup the side of her face. “And close your eyes,” he said softly.

His hand gently came to rest against her cheek, long fingers extending up to her forehead. He breathed out slowly, his breath gusting between them. His fingertips pressed into her temple. The points of contact were firm and warm but not hot, and she filled her mind with nothing else but the sensation of him touching her.

She felt him first as a gentle brush against her thoughts, almost ticklish. Her lips twitched upwards.

“Sorry,” he whispered, and then pressed more fully into her.

The beginning was hard to tell from the calm darkness with her eyes shut. It wasn't until she noticed she was moving, pushing through something, that she realized she was surrounded by water. She gasped. Pieces filtered through her senses one after another: the rush of water past her slick skin, the powerful undulations of her body moving her along, the… whiskers? on her face telling her that her path was clear ahead. Suddenly she could see, and the world filled in shades of blue all around her. Sparkling sunlight filtered through the water from the surface, and other creatures swam back and forth below it, the light glinting off of them. She could catch one, if she wanted, but she already eaten earlier. She could wait. 

Something about that didn't seem right. What if there weren't any later? There was no reason to pass up food. The vision shifted, the water growing colder. She wasn't just swimming now; she was chasing. A school of silvery fish flickered through the saltwater in front of her, moving as one. They darted back and forth, trying to throw her off, but she was better than those tricks. She lunged forward and snapped her jaws shut around a particularly large one. The rest of them fled, but she didn't need to follow. She had her meal.

She snapped up the fish quickly, not letting any much blood escape into the water. The last thing she needed was other predators sensing her kill and deciding they wanted a part of it. Her stomach felt pleasantly full after her meal, and her pace slowed. The waters were quiet around her as she slowly swam.

The ocean stretched endlessly in every direction, and it struck her all of a sudden how alone she was. The only one in a barren waste. No one was coming for her. The sun beat harder now, warming her back uncomfortably. Her neck ached, and she was so, so thirsty. But she couldn't go back until she'd found something new for Plutt. She was so hungry…

Rey gasped, eyes flying open, and immediately saw Ben's panicked face in front of her. Her hands were clenched on her thighs and she struggled to catch her breath. Ben's hand still cupped her face and he'd leaned in until he she could feel his short breaths missing with hers.

“Rey?” he asked anxiously. “I'm so sorry, I didn't expect that. Are you okay?”

She nodded, still breathing hard. “What happened?” 

“You did,” he said. “I was just supposed to show the memory to you, but then you pushed back and changed it, decided you wanted to see something else. And then you made it your own…” He trailed off, watching her carefully. “You're stronger than you know. So much more than I expected,” he said, voice soft but intent.

She didn't know what to say to that. The memory of the little girl she'd been, abandoned in the Jakku desert still tugged at her, never easily put back. “You saw all of that?” she confirmed. She knew the answer before he nodded. 

“I'm sorry,” he said again.

She swallowed. “It's okay. It was years ago. Let the past die, right?” It was a little easier to let it go this time, like it had a little less of a hold on her. “Before that, swimming with you - that was amazing. I've never imagined anything like that.” She could start to understand what it must have been like to be cut off from that part of himself for so long.

“You liked it?’ He still looked worried, but he brightened at the mention of his seal form. 

She nodded fervently. “I've never even been swimming before. I had no idea something could feel like that.”

“Never?” he asked incredulously. She shook her head. “One day, I'm taking you to see the ocean,” he promised again. She didn't know if they were still connected a little bit, or if his feelings were bleeding over in the Force, but she could tell with no doubts that he meant that wholeheartedly, that he would take her anywhere if it would make her happy. Her heart pounded, and she didn't know whether to kiss him or run away.

He seemed to be stuck in the same place. He was looking at her with that intense gaze, and she saw as he noticed how close they still were. His eyes flicked down to her lips, barely a glance. His lips parted slightly, but he didn't say anything.

She could stand up and walk away, and she knew that tomorrow he would act like this had never happened, go back to being her teacher. She considered it. Things were complicated enough between them already. Instead, she reached out and copied his touch on her face, brushing her thumb over his cheek. He inhaled sharply, eyes going dark.

“Rey,” he said, part plea, part warning.

In response, she leaned in closer, until she could feel the heat of his skin just above hers. His breaths fanned over her lips, short and quick.

“Is this okay?” she asked, lips just barely touching his with the movement.

“Yes,” he breathed, and she closed the distance between them before he'd finished the word.

His lips were just as soft and giving as she remembered, as she'd dreamed about since, but this was worlds away from their rushed kiss in the bar. It was just them, no shadowy organization at their backs, no fear. For a moment, they were both still, locked in that first press of lips. Then Ben's hand tightened on her cheek, slid back to curl around her head, threaded into her hair. With the gentlest of pressure, he encouraged her forward, and she responded fully. 

Kissing Ben was even headier than using the Force. The background of the streets and the river faded away until all she was aware of was the feel of him against her. She rose to her knees on the concrete, wanting to get closer, greedy for more of the energy between them. It was more than the way his lips caressed her and the reverent touch of his hands on her body, never straying too far, though she wouldn’t have minded if they did. It was the way he responded to her, matching her eagerness with his own. Even as their kisses dragged on, he never tired of the act, meeting each caress as excitedly if it were the first. 

As her knees started to ache, she shifted restlessly. Ben’s hands on her waist tugged in invitation, and she happily accepted. Her legs spread wide to settle over his lap, finding him just as firm but much more comfortable. She sat back just far enough to keep this from descending into something too obscene for a public walk. She couldn’t help herself from rocking slightly, hands braced on his chest, and his groan into her mouth was deep and aching. He drew back, leaving an incongruously sweet kiss on the tip of her nose. His lips curved in a smile, and she couldn’t resist tasting them again.

They never got to Ben's lesson for the night, if he'd even had one planned. He walked her back to her apartment as the sun peeked over the horizon. She brushed one last kiss against his lips before forcing herself to pull away. Kissing him was quickly becoming one of her favorite things. She wanted much more of that.

“See you soon?” she asked as she stepped back.

“Tomorrow,” he said decisively.

She grinned. “Can't wait.”

-

The next day, he disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR
> 
> Thoughts? :D
> 
> (next update will be after the [RFFA](https://reylofanfictionanthology.tumblr.com/) 'After the Blazing Fire Dies' holiday exchange fics are revealed on New Year's, so [make sure to check those out](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/RFFA_After_the_Blazing_Fire_Dies/)! There are some incredible authors participating <3 [And there's still time to write treats if anyone's interested](https://reylofanfictionanthology.tumblr.com/post/180215535062/dear-reylo-writers-are-you-looking-for-prompts)! They can be as short as 500 words and there's some fantastic prompts for some lovely people)
> 
> You can also catch me on [twitter as briartrash](https://twitter.com/briartrash/status/1079120236438265858), [pillowfort as thelastjedi](https://www.pillowfort.io/posts/372891), and [tumblr as thewayofthetrashcompactor](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/181528566363/chapter-eleven-sap-moon-ao3-ch-1-worm-moon)


	12. Third Quarter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The penultimate chapter!
> 
> Slight bump to the rating for this fic for this chapter for reasons. If you want to avoid that, read the note below. Otherwise, keep scrolling!
> 
> Brief **SPOILERS**  
>  ~~To skip the M-rated scene, go to the end after Rey takes Ben back to her room~~
> 
> Enjoy!

When he didn't show up the first day, she didn't worry. Much. He'd been there constantly for her for weeks now, maybe something had come up. Maybe he’d actually gotten a job. The part of her used to abandonment started forming its own theories very quickly, but she was better than that now. He'd show up later with some reasonable explanation.

When several more days passed, she started to get twitchy. Nothing she knew about Ben suggested he'd up and leave without a word. She wasn't what anyone could ever call “clingy”; it had taken months for her to get used to the idea the Finn and Rose cared where she was and worried about her. But he did still have a target on his back. So when a week had gone by and she hadn't seen so much as glimpse of him, she decided to try going to him.

His new apartment building looked the same as it had when he'd brought her there. She found her way back to his door easily enough, and when she knocked, Mitaka opened it within seconds.

“Oh,” he said, blinking at her. “Ben's girlfriend, right?”

“I - yes,” Rey agreed, figuring it would make this conversation go smoother.

“Have you seen him?” he asked her eagerly. “He hasn't been around for like a week now, and I just want to make sure he's still good for next month’s rent, because I can't cover it on my own. Not to be demanding or anything, I'm sure he's got stuff going on.”

“Um,” Rey said, trying to figure out what to tell him. At least it wasn't just her he'd been avoiding. He obviously wouldn't have told Mitaka anything, but maybe -- “Yeah, he… called me, said he needed something from his room. Was just going to grab it and then go meet up with him.”

“Oh, sure.” He stepped back and opened the door enough to let her in. 

“Thanks.” She walked around him and back to Ben's room, trying to make it look like she belonged there, a sense of dread lodging itself firmly in her chest.

Ben's door wasn't locked, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She could have picked it open, but Mitaka would probably have noticed. Still, leaving his room unlocked implied he had left in a hurry, for some reason that had made him forget it. She pushed the door open and became certain that was the case.

The room was destroyed. The mattress was thrown against the wall, the bed frame ripped apart, and the beat-up desk was now smashed to pieces. She could barely recognize it as the nondescript set-up she'd seen before. She walked in, splinters of wood cracking under her feet. She didn't know whether Ben had done this or someone else, but neither answer was good. She looked around the mess, trying to see if there was some hint to what had happened to him. Nothing jumped out.

She went to the wall and pulled the mattress down so that it landed in the remains of the bed frame with a thump. Mitaka said he hadn't seen Ben for a week either. Whatever had happened must have been not long after she last saw him. Maybe someone had come in here while he was out with her? But Mitaka would probably have noticed if this destruction had happened while he was in the apartment. She sat on the precarious edge of the bed and slumped over. Something had happened, but she didn't know enough to say what. She scanned the wreckage desperately.

From her perspective on the bed, she noticed a small dark patch near where the desk had been. She stood carefully and walked to it. She found a jagged piece of fabric, possibly ripped from Ben's clothes. She bent and picked it up and what exactly it was registered with sickening clarity. The piece of fur in her hand, a little smaller than her palm, was soft and slick, with a texture she'd only felt once before. Her fingers tightened around it, heart pounding frantically. Things began to make sense. She turned the small piece of Ben's coat over and around in her hands, and a golden shimmer caught her eye from the back of it. Flipping it over revealed a large and scrawling 'S’ inscribed in gold ink on the skin, branding it. The last pieces settled into place.

She stood quickly, knowing she needed to act fast but not sure what to do. She still needed to find Ben, to find exactly what she was holding. It was clearly a threat, but was it that Snoke had the coat to hold over him again? Or did she have the last piece of something that had already been destroyed. She didn't want to think what might have happened to Ben in either case. And regardless, she thought she knew where to find him. She strode to the door, but Mitaka suddenly appeared there with a look of concern. 

“Are you okay? I heard --” He cut off when he saw Ben's room. “Oh, come on,” he moaned. “I'm never getting the deposit back now.”

Rey walked past him. She felt bad, but they could figure out his situation later. Ben just needed to be okay. 

“Hey, wait!” he called after her, but Rey kept going, out the door and shutting it behind her.

The walk to Ben’s old apartment seemed to take ages. Every minute was another chance something could go wrong, that the situation would get worse than it already was. By the time she got to the building, it felt like her heart would pound out of her chest. She pressed the buzzer for Ben's apartment, holding her breath as she waited for a response. She wasn't sure whether she wanted him to be there or not.

“What?” Ben's voice snapped over the staticy speaker. Her breath left her like she'd been punched in the gut.

“It's me,” she rasped.

There was a second of silence and then the line went dead. She looked at it incredulously then jabbed it again. “Go away,” he growled from the other end of the line.

“No. I'm staying here until you talk to me.” She set herself firmly against the entrance to the building, even though he couldn't see.

He didn't answer, but after a short pause, the door buzzed open. She grabbed the handle and let herself in. 

The elevator ride up gave her time to imagine what exactly was going on. Ben sounded fine, if angry, so Snoke must have dragged him back. She refused to believe he’d gone on his own.

The doors slid open and she crossed the hallway to the apartment at the end. She knocked, and she'd barely touched the door before it swung open in front of her.

Ben stood there, all one piece, even if he wasn't in very good shape. His skin was milky white, no life in it, which only made the dark circles under his eyes stand out further. “You need to go.” The words were snapped out and harsh, and she was reminded uncomfortably of their first meeting.

“You need to tell me what's going on,” she snapped back.

“Nothing is going on. Everything's the same as it always was,” he said bitterly.

She stepped in closer, brushing up against the door. “It doesn't have to be,” she promised. “Ben, let me help you.”

Before he could answer, a sharp voice with a crisp accent called out from the apartment behind him. “Ren, who is that?”

Ben didn't look back. “Leave,” he insisted, voice becoming desperate.

“I'm not leaving you like this,” she insisted, eyes intent on his as she looked up at him.

“Ren?” the voice came again, with a creak as the speaker stood up.

Ben glanced back in panic. “I'll come find you,” he told her. “Later. Just go.”

She crossed her arms. “Later when?”

“Tonight. _Go._ ” She hesitated, watching him, then nodded. He breathed a sigh of relief and quickly shut the door, barely missing her face. 

She stared at the closed door, then turned back for the elevator, moving as if in a daze. Her pace as she walked back to her apartment was much slower. Snoke had Ben under his thumb again. She could try to get him out, but she had a feeling it wouldn't be as easy as last time, and she couldn't do it without him.

She went back to her apartment and slumped on the couch, lying there until Finn came in later. His expression turned concerned as he saw her and he came over to sit next to her.

“What's up?” he asked, patting her leg.

She roused, sitting up and giving him a half-hearted smile. “Nothing.”

His eyes narrowed. “Is it him?” he asked.

She made a face. “Not like you think.”

“What do you mean?” he said, frowning.

“It was Snoke,” she said, starting to feel the anger that had been building since she’d seen Ben again.

“How do you know?” Her eyes snapped to his, mouth open in protest. “I want to believe he’s changed as much as you do, Rey,” he said quickly. “If everyone working for Snoke left him tomorrow, everything he’s built would fall apart. But I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know it was him,” she said firmly. “I saw Ben. This isn’t what he wanted.”

“Okay,” Finn said, relenting. “I just -- I don’t want to lose you. Knowing you, you’re planning to rush into this head-on.”

She huffed, smiling. She couldn’t deny that, though it was odd to realize Finn had recognized that in her. Tentatively, she reached over and squeezed his hand. “You’re not getting rid of me yet,” she promised.

He squeezed back. “I don’t know much about...Ben. But I trust you.”

“Thanks,” Rey said, slightly choked. 

Finn eventually went to bed, but Rey waited up on the couch for Ben until long after midnight. Reasonably, she knew she had work tomorrow morning, that she still needed to support herself regardless of what was happening in the supernatural world, but she’d never been good at letting things go. As the hours passed, her eyes started to flutter closed, and she had to shake herself to stay awake. She stood and began pacing, her thoughts fixed on what needed to be done. 

In the early hours of the morning, a soft knock came from the door. Rey rushed over and pulled it open without even checking the peephole. Ben stood on the other side, looking lost and alone. 

“Rey,” he said, voice breaking, and Rey thought he might run. She reached out, took his hand, and pulled him into the apartment, shutting the door behind him. 

They stood together just inside, eyes fixed on one another. “Ben,” she said softly, her hand still in his. “What happened?”

He scoffed and looked away, though his hand tightened around hers almost painfully. “What was always going to happen,” he muttered. “I never really escaped him. He was just waiting.”

“We can get it back, we’ll figure something out,” she said, stepping into him. 

He shook his head. “I don’t - I don’t want to talk about that right now,” he said roughly.

“Then what --?”

He leaned down, desperation making him awkward, and pressed his lips gracelessly to hers. Sparks burst where they touched, and she met him eagerly even as her mind raced.

He pulled back after the first frantic kiss, his eyes searching hers anxiously. She reached up and wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him back down to her. She could understand needing comfort, and she'd missed him too. Their kisses turned heavy quickly, his arms circling around her back, pulling her into him until there was no space left between them. Her breath came short, and she didn't know if it was from his hands or his mouth.

With the way he was bent over her, he slowly pressed her back until she was caught between the wall and him. Before they could get too carried away, she pressed a hand against his chest and pulled back. 

“We should… talk,” she said breathlessly. “We need a plan.”

He swallowed, looking down at her with what could only be described as a pout. “Yes. But not now,” he rasped.

He had his heart in his eyes as he spoke, and his usually lush lips were red and kiss-swollen. Her throat felt suddenly dry. She didn't really want to talk at the moment either. “We will figure this out,” she promised.

He looked at her sadly, like he didn't believe her, and she wondered if he'd thought this would be goodbye. She wasn't about to let that happen, and in the meantime, she was determined to wipe that look off his face. “Later,” he said, and she agreed.

“Later.” She took his hand and started pulling him back to her room. She caught a glimpse of his wide eyes, but he followed her swiftly.

Once her door was closed behind them, she tugged him back down to her. He met her like he wasn't sure if she'd disappear in front of him at any moment. His hands wrapped around her ribs, covering the breadth of them, fingertips pressing points into her skin. His desperation only spurred her on and she reached down to grab the hem of his shirt. It was a struggle to wordlessly convince him to let go of her long enough to get the shirt over his head, but she finally succeeded and greedily spread her hands over his bare chest. They hadn’t turned the lights on in the room; the moment feeling too fragile for them. The moon had reached the end of its cycle and was nothing more than a shadow in the sky. The lights of the city filtered in through her windows and shone off of him with an ethereal glow.

He let her touch him, his hands latching back onto her. They started to explore her, tentatively curving in to brush the edges of her breasts. She arched into him, encouraging his touch. After several gentle passes, his hands dropped and slid under her shirt, finding her breasts bare to him. He fell to his knees, hands never leaving her, and looked up at her with awe bare on his face. He cupped and kneaded her chest, watching her carefully for her reactions to each motion, adding in gentle pinches when she moaned.

Impatiently she ripped her shirt over her head and then watched his face go slack as her bare skin was revealed. His eyes drank her in, and she felt herself flush under that look. He swayed towards her, like the tides to the moon, unable to help himself. His mouth pressed over her skin, dragging a trail from one breast to the other, lips sucking and nipping along the way. His hands braced themselves on her hips, fingers just edging under the waistband of her pants. His thumbs rubbed back and forth over her hipbone which sent a shiver tingling up her back. 

Her hands slipped down to cover his, feeling the strength in the way he held her. She paused with her hands on the waistband of her pants. “This isn't part of some other selkie ritual, is it? It doesn't mean anything I don't know about?” 

He looked up at her, lips parting reluctantly from her skin. “It only means what you want it to, Rey,” he promised before leaning in to kiss her again.

Together, they tugged her pants down her legs, along with her underwear. She kicked them to the side, then walked him back to her bed. She fell back and pulled him over her, Ben still refusing to leave her for more than a second. His kisses drifted from her lips, over her cheeks and jaw, then lingered on her neck, nibbling just enough to tickle before trailing down again. He returned to her still damp breasts, and she arched, pressing them into his mouth. His tongue curled around a nipple, then he slid down the curve of her breast to her stomach. His hands cupped her hips, long fingers spread across them, and his face rested between them. He looked up her body, eyes glinting silver in the moonlight.

“Beautiful,” he murmured into her skin, the words pressed into the cradle of her hips as if to brand them there. 

She shivered and carded her fingers through his hair. He nuzzled into her hip, nose tracing the bones under his hands. He mouthed lower still, finding his way to the dark curls between her legs. His eyes flicked up to hers again, wordlessly asking her blessing to continue. She nodded slightly and his excited gasp slid across her skin.

His hands rolled from her hips to her thighs, gently pushing them apart enough for him to settle on the bed in between. His thumbs rubbed back and forth over the sensitive skin high up on her legs, and he lay kisses there leading up to her apex. With his shoulders parting her legs, his fingers traced along her folds. His touch felt curious, and she could feel his gaze on her as he explored. Her thighs twitched around him but she kept them spread and reached down for his hair again, rubbing the soft strands between her fingers. 

He pressed his fingers between her folds, discovering the gathering wetness at her center. He made a small, pleased noise of surprise and her thighs clenched as he traced her entrance. She felt her muscles twitching, trying to grasp something that wasn’t there. 

“Ben,” she groaned, needing more. 

He hummed in response, then replaced his fingers with his tongue, sweeping across her. She yelped, hips arching off the bed. She felt sure she’d tugged out some of his hair, but that didn’t seem to discourage him. Instead, he leaned in and did it again. She had herself under better control this time, and she dug her heels into his back, egging him on. He lapped up the slickness spilling out of her eagerly. She jolted everytime he found one of the spots that sent pleasure flaring up her spine, and he quickly built a pattern, learning where to pull the best reactions from her. His nose brushed against her clit, and she called out his name. He caught on fast, bringing his fingers up to find that spot again. 

She stared blindly up at the ceiling as his thumb circled her clit and his tongue dipped into her entrance. His mouth on her was desperate, drinking her in like he wanted to drown in her. His movements were quick, jerky, and it only reminded her of how he’d come to her door. A tear dripped from the corner of her eye and down her face. She shook it away angrily. Their first time wouldn’t be their last. Now that she’d experienced everything else he could do with that mouth, it was another strong reason not to let him disappear again. A cry was torn from her as his tongue twisted inside of her, slick and hungry. 

She felt herself building to a peak, but her chest ached. Ridiculous and needy as it sounded, she wanted to hold him against her again, reassure herself with the weight of his body. She tugged on his hair, directing him upward. He came away from between her legs with a concerned look on his slick face.

“What’s --?” he started, but she leaned down and kissed him before he could finish. She tasted the bitterness of herself on him, but couldn’t find it in her to mind. 

“I want you,” she whispered against his lips, before claiming them again. He groaned into the kiss, and she smiled as she pulled him backward. 

He braced himself over her, their naked bodies rocking together uncontrollably. She wrapped her legs around his hips, and he gasped. “Please, Ben,” she moaned. His hips snapped into hers.

“Are -- Are you su--” he panted, but couldn’t finish the thought. She reached between them and wrapped her hand around his length. A wounded sound escaped him. “Please,” he echoed, thrusting into her grasp. 

She guided him between her thighs, slicking him against her, his wetness mixing with hers. With him at her entrance, he gently pushed, the width of him stretching her. Ben was just as large here as everywhere else, and she groaned deeply as she spread around him. His breaths came in quick pants, chin pressed to his chest as he guided himself into her. She looked down the length of her body at him, hands clutched in her sheets. When his hips met hers, he fell over her, breathing hard into her neck. She dug her blunt nails into his shoulder, eyes closed as she felt him _everywhere_ : above her, around her, inside her.

He stayed still long enough that she thought he might not move, so she took the initiative, rolling her hips up into his. He grunted and met her thrusts, bracing himself on her hip. It took several tries for them to adjust to each other, and he watched her with concentration, taking in the undulations of her body in awe. His free hand travelled up her body, cupping her hip, then her waist, then rolled her nipples until she moaned. Now building a rapid pace between them, he bent over her, lips finding her neck. Her head tilted back, pressing into the bed, uncaring as her sucked a red mark into her skin. His hand wandered down her arm until it found hers, drawing it up to her head and entangling their fingers. Another tear dripped down her face, but she ignored it. 

Their hips snapped together now, bodies reaching for that peak. He slid in and out of her with ease as her muscles clenched around the thick length of him. With him draped over her, he dragged against her clit with every thrust. His chest brushed over hers, and his weight made her breath come shorter, but she welcomed it, eager for the way it grounded her, promised that this was real. Her eyes were wide as her climax swept over her.

“Ben!”

His rhythm fell apart and his teeth sunk into her neck. “Oh, fuck, Rey,” he groaned. He thrust jerkily through the writhing of her body around him, then spilled into her, collapsing.

She wriggled underneath him, and he rolled to his side with a soft, “Sorry.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Don’t be,” she whispered back. 

As they lay together in her bed, Ben’s arms enveloped her, unwilling to let go. “It'll be okay,” he murmured into her hair, and she couldn't say which of them he was telling. “Tomorrow, it'll all be over. You won't have to worry about him anymore.”

She was too tired to respond to that, so she snuggled closer to him, burying her nose in his chest, trying to express with her body what she couldn't say. She fell asleep with the scent of him surrounding her, sure they could face the next day together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left! I'm sure absolutely nothing will go wrong and everything will be perfect when they wake up. Probably.
> 
> Thoughts? :D
> 
> The RFFA exchange came out! I wrote a [historical fae abo fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17135639) for [flypaper_brain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flypaper_brain/gifts) and received an [amazing gift](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16892040/chapters/39676317) from [crystanagahori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystanagahori/pseuds/crystanagahori) with magic and angst and all sorts of wonderful things (it's their first in the fandom, give them some love!) and the [absolute cutest reylo porg treat ever](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17162702) from the eternally wonderfully [aionimica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aionimica/pseuds/aionimica). [Check out the collection!](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/RFFA_After_the_Blazing_Fire_Dies) Literally every single fic I've read from it so far has been wonderful.
> 
> You can also find me on [pillowfort as thelastjedi](https://www.pillowfort.io/posts/426116), [tumblr as thewayofthetrashcompactor](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/181955019108/chapter-twelve-third-quarter-ao3-ch-1-worm), and [twitter as briartrash](https://twitter.com/briartrash/status/1084158430896705539)


	13. New Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the end!

Rey’s eyes slowly blinked open in the early morning light. The sun was just below the edge of the horizon, and the gray light of dawn spread over the city. The empty shadow of the moon still lingered. Rey sat up in bed, reality filling in around her. The first thing she noticed was the cold and empty space next to her. Ben had left. With a sinking feeling, she realized exactly why he had come over last night. He really had meant it as a goodbye before he went off and faced Snoke on his own.

“That idiot,” she growled, swinging out of bed. She started grabbing for clothes at random, mind racing.

She thought about what Finn had said to her last night. Ben was just as bad as she was, running head-on into things without thinking them through. Their entire relationship was proof of that. She very much doubted he would be going for a subtle approach. 

He wanted to face Snoke and take back his freedom for good or die trying. Snoke's headquarters it was then. She changed her tactics, tossing aside the ratty t-shirt she'd been about to put on and instead searching for something that might get her into an uppity office building. She didn’t know if Snoke had somewhere else he used for his supernatural dealings, but his offices seemed like the best bet right now. If that didn’t work, she’d go back to his mansion, and if that failed, then --

She’d deal with that if she got to that point. One step at a time. 

Her closet didn’t have an abundance of dress clothes, but she did at least have the skirt and blouse she’d found at Goodwill for her interview with Maz. (It had turned out to be overkill, but worth having for those rare occasions she needed it.) She dug them out from behind her stained jeans and hoodies and set them on the bed, then fished her one decent bra out from the drawer. She dressed herself with jerky motions, settling herself into her best approximation of put together as quickly as she could. Grabbing her keys, she ran out the door of the apartment before the sun had edged over the horizon. 

On the streets, she skirted around other people headed to their jobs, their work clothes changing from polos with company logos to button downs and suits with ties the closer she got to Snoke’s building, walking as fast as her worn out flats would let her. Office workers were starting to trickle into the building as she arrived, and she followed a group of them into a polished gold elevator, letting someone else scan their id and then pushed the button for the top floor. One of the women gave her a surprised look, her judgemental gaze quickly taking in the state of Rey’s outfit, but Rey kept her eyes fixed ahead, doing her best to look bored even as her heart pounded. 

The elevator gradually emptied out as it travelled upward, until the last couple people aside from Rey got out a few floors from the top. The doors slid closed again, and Rey was left alone, looking at her reflection in them as she was carried up to the man who’d been lurking on the edges of her life for months. She breathed slowly in and out, focusing herself. 

The elevator stopped with a soft chime and a woman’s voice announcing the floor as the doors opened. Rey stepped out, keeping her pace steady even as she wanted to run to Snoke’s office and wrap her hands around his neck until he gave back everything he’d taken. A man in an expensive bright red shirt sat at a large curved desk just to the side of the elevator, and he looked up at her with raised brows. 

“Can I help you?” he asked, his tone making it very clear that he thought that she needed more help than he was prepared to offer. 

“Yes, I’m here to see Mr. Snoke,” she said in her best customer service voice, the one she used when she had to remind herself that she needed to be paid more than she needed to tell customers to go fuck themselves. 

His brows arched even higher. “Are you,” he said flatly. “Well, then. Do you have an appointment?” His entire being radiated his certainty that she didn’t.

“No,” Rey said, continuing before he could cut her off. “But I’ve just received some very urgent information that I need to discuss with him. It concerns Kylo Ren.”

The receptionist blinked, clearly not expecting that answer. “He’s in a meeting with Mr. Ren at the moment, and is not to be disturbed.”

Rey did her best to conceal her excitement. “I know,” she said, as evenly as she could. “And that’s why I need to speak with him. It’s extremely important that he hear this as soon as possible.”

He glanced down uncertainly. “I’ll check if he can see you right now,” he allowed, and pressed a button on a panel set into his desk. It buzzed, but no answer came. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking back at Rey. “I can take a message to give to him when he's available.”

She shook her head firmly. “No, he has to hear this now. I need to see him.”

The receptionist drew himself up with the full force of his affronted dignity. “I am sorry,” he repeated. “Mr. Snoke is busy. You can leave a message, or you can leave.” HIs hand dropped to curl around the edge of the deak, likely towards a button that would summon a squad of Snoke’s security goons from wherever they were kept.

Rey stepped up to the desk and leaned in, her voice low and intent. “I need to see Snoke. And you’re going to take me to him.” She felt a spark of energy run through her, the same way it did when she used the Force. She held onto that feeling, building it up. 

He hesitated, clearly struggling. “You - you can’t -”

She pressed further. “You _will_ take me to Snoke.”

All at once, the lines of his face smoothed out, leaving his expression completely blank. “I will take you to Snoke,” he said tonelessly. 

A victorious thrill made her grin. She could easily get used to this feeling. The receptionist stood from his desk, taking a key card from one of the drawers beneath it, and walked down the hallway with Rey following him closely. They passed a couple of glass-encased conference rooms, all sleek fixtures and rich woods, but no one else was on the floor. The receptionist stopped at the end of the hall in front of a tall pair of doors painted blood red. He took the keycard from his pocket, scanned it on a recessed pad next to the door, then pulled a small key she hadn’t even noticed he’d had from his other pocket and turned it in the lock on the handle. 

The lock fell back with a clunk, and he pulled the door open. Rey stood right next to him, eyes fixed ahead as the room was revealed. 

The first thing she saw was dark walls in the same color as the door, reminding her vividly of Snoke’s bedroom. A few tall, evenly placed bookcases stood against them, full of volumes chosen for their intimidation value. She couldn’t see either Snoke or Ben from her angle, so she stepped inside and immediately stopped in her tracks. 

Snoke stood in front of a dark wood desk, dressed in his golden suit. Kneeling on the ground in front of him in the same clothes he’d worn to her apartment last night was Ben. Snoke had a hand on Ben’s face in a cruel parody of the way Ben had touched her to show her his memories of the ocean, and Ben’s expression was contorted in pain. On the desk behind Snoke sat a very familiar engraved chest, half lit by the gray light coming in through the tall windows. Snoke looked almost gleeful as he leaned over his former hitman, the emotion twisting his horrifying face even further. 

“Ben!” Rey cried, and Snoke jerked and looked up at her immediately, his ice blue eyes boring into her. A chill swept over her as they examined her, and his lips twisted into a sneer. 

“Hold her!” he shouted. Rey had a moment of confusion before she whipped around and saw the receptionist had followed her into the room. At Snoke’s order, the blankness faded from him, and he lunged for her. 

She had the advantage of reflexes and dodged, but he kept after her, driving her further into the room and against a wall. She quickly realized that he was trying to herd her into a corner and ducked under his arms and back out into the room. Before she could take a swing at her opponent, a cry came from behind her, and her heart seized at the agony in Ben’s voice. She spun around before she could stop herself and saw that Snoke was back to work on Ben, his fingers digging into his face. Ben reached up to try to pry him off, but as soon as he grabbed his arm, his back arched like a shock had been sent through him. She took a step forward to try to interfere, but she was stopped by an arm around her neck. The receptionist had taken advantage of her distraction to carry out his orders. 

The arm tightened as the man used his forearm to gain leverage, and Rey struggled for breath. She could feel her windpipe closing and her hands scrabbled for purchase on the man. Her vision started to go dark as she brushed against his side, then drew back and elbowed him in the ribs. He was clearly trained, because he didn’t go down with the blow, but he did bend over reflexively, breath leaving him in a huff, and his grip on her neck loosened just enough to give her an advantage. She stomped down on his instep at the same time that she threw her head back, aiming for his nose, like she’d done accidentally to Ben. 

She didn’t hit it directly, but it still bent to the side with the blow, and the arm locking his arm to her throat fell a little more. Rey pressed her advantage, clawing his wrist and ducking out of his hold. She turned to face him, throat bruised and breathing heavily. Shaking himself off, the receptionist matched her pose, blood dripping from his face and onto his red shirt and from his wrist to the floor. He snarled and his arm twisted behind him to reach into his back pocket, pulling out a black box with metal prongs that she could guess the use of. He swung it through the air menacingly, face twisting in a savage grin, and it crackled with energy, standing her hair up straight. The tickle of electricity over her skin and the way it reminded her of her lessons made something click in her head.

Energy. The Force.

She threw a hurried look over her shoulder, doing her best not to linger on the sight of Ben falling back onto the floor, twitching, with Snoke’s hands on him, looking instead at the chest on Snoke’s desk. Her breathing was still ragged, but she tried to wrangle it into something resembling calm, or at least enough to center her for what she needed to do. 

“It’s not about the size,” she muttered. “Just got to get your head around it.”

She sank herself into the Force, hoping desperately she could do this before her opponent reached her. Her eyes slid closed as she moved the Force around the chest and lifted it up off the desk. With a force of will, she sent it across the room over her head, and slammed it down into the man reaching for her. 

It cracked into his skull and knocked him back to the floor, landing on top of him. She waited to see if he would move, but he didn’t so much as twitch, even when she kicked him. Satisfied, she turned her attention to Snoke. 

Ben was sprawled on the floor, barely moving aside from the heaving of his chest. Snoke looked down on him victoriously, slowly crouching with arm outstretched for the final blow. 

“No!” she screamed, running towards him. Barely looking away from Ben, he flung out his other hand and a wave of force sent her flying back into the wall. She struggled against it, trying to find a weakness, but couldn’t move past it. “Ben,” she cried again, voice breaking. 

By some miracle, it was enough to rouse him. He shifted, and Snoke’s attention snapped back down to him. Rey wasn’t about to let that happen. She reached into the Force again and sent shelves worth of heavy books flying at Snoke. He had to stop again, lifting the hand he’d been using to threaten Ben to protect himself from her onslaught. She did it again and again, changing the angle of attack, forcing as much speed as she could into the projectiles. They landed closer and closer to Snoke as he failed to split his attention three ways, and Rey did her best to keep them from landing on Ben. When she ran out of books, she began to tear apart the shelves, sending daggers of splintered wood instead. One flew by Snoke’s head, passing close enough that he must have felt it, and he fixed a murderous glare on her. 

The Force holding her back was no longer just pressing against her but shifted to grip at her already sore throat. She gasped for breath but kept sending everything she had at her enemy even as her view of him turned fuzzy. The blackness at the edges of her vision crept inwards until she couldn’t see at all, and a rushing noise filled her ears, coming up to overwhelm her. She centered her focus in the Force on Snoke, trying to wrench him away from her with the last of her consciousness, and suddenly the pressure lifted.

She fell to the floor, air burning her throat. She blinked quickly, trying to clear the darkness from her sight. Rasping noises came to her from across the room, and she wondered wildly if she’d been able to turn Snoke’s powers onto him when her vision finally came back to her.

Ben was on his feet now, eyes blazing, two huge hands wrapped around Snoke’s throat. Snoke’s body jerked, hands and legs flailing, but then he got control of himself enough to lift his hands to Ben’s arms. Ben’s jaw tightened at the old man’s touch, muscles flexing in his arms, and Rey could tell Snoke was hurting his apprentice back as the life was strangled out of him. Still, Ben held on. Face contorting, Snoke ripped one hand away and held it towards the chest laying on top of his receptionist. With a crook of his fingers, the light wood was suddenly enveloped in flames, brighter and hotter than even Rey’s fireball. 

Ben looked over his shoulder, agony clear on his face. Rey thought he might let go of Snoke, fight for the part of him he’d given up so much for. But instead, he gritted his teeth and turned back to Snoke, rage coursing through him. His hands tightened around his throat, and Snoke gargled, eyes bulging, unable to do anything else to defend himself. 

Rey stumbled over to the chest, shying away when the heat slammed into her. She panted, desperately trying to find a way to save Ben’s coat without killing herself in the process. Behind her, Snoke’s desperate gurgles told her he hadn’t gone down yet. The fire was starting to catch on the body below it, adding the scent of burning flesh to the smoke and blood in the air. Outside, an alarm started ringing, and Rey’s first thought was that she and Ben had to run before backup came before she realized what the ringing was. Sprinklers went off above them, and Rey grinned triumphantly. She gathered the water to her like Ben had shown her at the river and sent it all in one great thrust at the chest. 

The fire didn’t go out entirely, but it died enough for her to dart forward and open the chest. She threw back the lid and dragged the coat out. It hadn’t escaped entirely unharmed; she could already see where it had gotten burned in some places, but it was in one piece. She bundled it in her arms and turned back to Ben, who still had Snoke hanging from his grip. 

As she watched, Snoke heaved one last dying breath and then went limp. Ben kept holding him, eyes angry and desperate as they glared at his body. Rey dragged herself over to him and lightly touched his shoulder. 

“Ben,” she said gently. He started, as if she’d broken him out of a trance, and turned to look at her over his shoulder. She held up the bundle of fur. “I have it,” she told him. “It’s a little burnt, but it’s okay. You’re okay. We’re okay.”

His chest heaved with emotion as he looked from her back to the body in his hands. With a grunt, he tossed it to the side. Rey heard a snap. He turned back to her and wrapped her in his arms.

He smelled like sweat and fear and was holding her tightly enough to make it harder to breathe, but she let him. His harsh breaths fanned over her hair. Slowly, her pounding heartbeat slowed, and she felt his shaking arms start to calm. She pressed a gentle kiss to his neck and took a small step back. His arms fell from around her but didn’t let her go.

“Rey,” he said roughly. 

“It’s okay,” she said again. “We did it.”

“Thank you.” There were tears in his voice and his hands tightened around her.

“You don’t have to thank me,” she said, the words hoarse. 

“I want to.” He leaned in and buried his face in her neck. “Thank you,” he whispered, lips brushing her throat, then kissed it. He rested there, then lifted his face to her forehead. He lay another kiss there. “Thank you.” He bent a little, just enough to make their faces level. His eyes searched hers before her leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “Thank you.” He rested his forehead against hers, eyes closing as he sighed. 

Unable to resist, she tipped her face up to his and met his lips with hers. She left a much longer kiss there. He sighed longingly as they parted. “I would always have come for you,” she told him. “Just don’t leave me like that again.”

“I won’t,” he swore, aching in his sincerity. She kissed him again, shorter. 

“Good.”

Inevitably, his eyes dropped from hers to the coat in her arms. She looked down at it to, then back to him. She took a small step back. His hands fell from her sides and he slumped in resignation, but then she held out the bundle to him. His eyes snapped back to hers, eyes holding the question he was desperate to ask. Tentatively, he reached out to take the fur. She let him, but didn’t let go. 

“This isn’t marriage,” she clarified, mind racing as she tried to put into words exactly what she wanted to tell him. Ben held her gaze, waiting. “But it’s not leaving either. It’s...us seeing the ocean together. Figuring out a new life. Going to see your family. It’s trying to see where this will go, without any pressure from old traditions. But I want to learn more about those traditions, about you. And I want to tell you more about me, and then for us to find things out together.”

His eyes steadily widened as she spoke and he stood taller. When she finished, he closed the space between them again, bypassing the coat to wrap one arm around her waist and the other around her neck. “Yes,” he said, warm eyes sparkling down at her. “I want all of that.”

She pushed up and kissed him, emotions spilling over between them. She opened her mouth under him, pulling one hand free to curl around his neck so she could kiss him deeper. He hummed into her mouth, the sound a pleasant buzz. She wanted to kiss him longer, for as long as their legs would hold them up, but her lungs ached, and she reluctantly pulled away. He had no objections, laying small kisses across her cheeks and nose and ears until she laughed, turning her head to the side.

Her gaze caught Snoke’s body laying on the floor and her heart skipped a beat. “We should probably go,” she said to Ben, and he caught the direction of her gaze and agreed. 

“Yes. Let’s get out of here.”

Taking his coat from her, he slipped it on over his clothes and led her to the door.

“You’re really okay breaking our traditional marriage?” she said, half-joking, hand in his as they left the room. 

“Of course,” he assured her, leaning over to press another kiss to the side of her head. “I want everything with you, in however much time that takes.” Her hand tightened gratefully around his, and she stepped in to rub herself against him. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand in response. “Besides,” he said, half to himself. “It'll take time to set up the coronation anyway.”

She stopped short in the hallway, looking up at him incredulously. She could tell from his sheepish expression that he wasn't kidding. A coronation. Of course. She sighed. That would be another thing for them to talk about. “One day at a time,” she told him.

He smiled. “One day at a time,” he agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! 
> 
> I didn't realize how much this story meant to me until I got around to posting this final chapter and kept putting it off. Getting this finished was a big thing for me, and I'm going to miss it. (Luckily, I still have a solid backlog of fics I still need to post to ao3, including my charity fic, lingerie fic, monster fics, etc.) I'd really love to hear what you thought of this! I've appreciated very much everyone who was kind enough to comment along the way. 
> 
> I'd like to thank again Viv and Celia for betaing this, the rest of the anthology mods for all the wonderful work they do, and Persimonne for her beautiful art and support. This probably wouldn't have gotten done without her taking the time to tell me this wasn't all garbage. <3
> 
> You can also find me on [pillowfort as thelastjedi](https://www.pillowfort.io/posts/447461), [tumblr as thewayofthetrashcompactor](http://thewayofthetrashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/182169085608/chapter-thirteen-new-moon-ao3complete-ch-1), and [twitter as briartrash](https://twitter.com/briartrash/status/1087077410649096198)


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